O Brother, where art thou? part I

To his fellow Druids, Caerwyddich Bard of Carrig sends greetings.

Following the usual bacchanalian celebrations in lieu of the Prophets Mass it is again time to report on the activities of the Misbegotten one known as Pistol.

Unfortunately as you will read he has become embroiled in the current affairs of Montaigne. A dangerous course for we Druids considering the turmoil of destiny unleased by the Revolution. Quite literally anything could happen. Pistol might yet involve himself in matters that are of interest in Avalon reminding the Sidhe of his existence. Songs might be written about his exploits or death (already there is a ditty circulating about a green tongued buffoon who seems uncannily similar to our subject). There is always the possibility that he might quietly disappear in the maelstrom of Montaignen politics but I must confess that I would miss him were that so. He grows on one (rather like a pimple waiting to be squeezed). So on with the tales gathered from our viewings.....

.....................................................

The imposing pile of the Franz Von Tannen Perpetual Commemorative Orphanage rang with the bellow of a bully. "You'll answer dat bluddy door Otto or feel de toe of me boot on yer behind ya scummy little begger...". A clip over the back of the head encouraged the sulky Otto on his way as Pistol kept a weather eye out for his companions.

Best not to bother them with matters of discipline pertaining to the orphans by being seen slapping them around openly, thought Pistol. He'd only get that goody goody disapproving look again. Especially from those two who'd recently arrived from Avalon.

The unbearably pretty Avon Arthur seemed quite unapologetic about being a member of the bloody goody two shoes Rose and Cross (and seemed to accept all the rot spun by that Dietrich bastard purely on his say so). As for Sir Robin he smelt of Bors McAlister, enough reason for Pistol to give him as wide a berth as possible. Antonio too was a disappointment after Giancarlo thought Pistol. Why he probably wouldn't even help a fellow borrow a Burgomeister's horse....

Not like good old Franz, thought Pistol with a sigh. Now there was a lad resigned to quirks of character in others. Pistol toyed with the thought that in Franz he might have met a man who lived the philosophy "to know all is to forgive all". This metaphysical thought however threatened to interfere with the proper digestion of breakfast and was quickly discarded in favour of ruminations about getting the Franz Von Tannen Memorial Statue Trust off the ground (Hon. Sec. for life one Peter O'Toole). Better throw in a drinking fountain too, thought Pistol, that way it'll still be useful even if we forgot all about Franz...

"It's a Montaignen in a funny hat and dirty pants" Otto reported, keeping beyond arms length. Pistol blanched. "Not in uniform was he lad" he asked. "Did he show yer papers and act all official loike ?" the increasingly nervous Pistol looked over Otto's shoulder suspecting a posse of Customs officers to charge down the corridor. "Did he ask fer me by name, speak up boy !" cried Pistol springing at the whimpering boy and shaking him. "No sir, no, just for Messr. Dandelion" Otto whimpered.

Just like a customs officer, thought Pistol, lying to an orphan. He let the relieved Otto slump to the floor. "Go on den, don't just lie there go and tell Dandelion quick smart. I'll be round de back somewhere doin somethin important dat cant be disturbed" said Pistol edging towards a side door.

.........................

"Oy, Dandelion what'd dat dandy want" asked Pistol brusquely as the Montaignen visitor was ushered out the front door.

"No doubt, you are referring to the Chevalier de Flairfeur my good Pistol" said a subdued Dandelion stroking his chin absently. "He brought news of my brother Lucerne who is mouldering in a Charouse prison courtesy of the Revolutionary Council".

"Nothin to do wid Customs then ?"

"No, as you say Pistol, nothing to do with Customs"

"Wheres he goin now den ?"

"Well if he is true to his word, which I have no reason to doubt, he will be riding tout suite to Wische to meet with Jean-Marie Roix-et-Reine, consort to HM the Queen Regent Anne de Montaigne with a letter of introduction from my good self but who am I to say ?" muttered Dandelion distractedly.

"Well oid better foller him and make sure" said Pistol leaving Dandelion calling for Ambrose to open a bottle of wine. Pistol stopped in his tracks but the urge to preserve his skin overcame his thirst and he went on.

.................................................

Pistol gazed wonderingly at the disappearing horseman through the west gate of the City. "Well oi never" he murmered in surprise. "If dat dont beat all. Who would've thought..." Still not a bad job of shadowin' Pistol me lad he said to cheer himself up as he turned back to the Orphanage. Undoubtedly assisted by the single minded determination with which the target had made his way directly to the road to Wische but a good job all the same....

..................................................

"Yer'll never guess wot Dandelion" gushed Pistol as he burst into the room. "Dat feller yer were speakin too went straight to Wische, just loike he said !"

Dandelion looked around from addressing the companions generally "Thank you Pistol, take a seat....as I was saying it appears that the Montaigne Revolutionary Council has made peace with Castille and the Army has withdrawn to a city near the border.

A reign of terror has descended upon Charouse with many nobles suffering a haircut courtesy of "Le Coiffure". The Chevalier de Fleurfeur was incarcerated in Chateau de Rouillement Noble - an ex monastry - with Lucerne who is in a cell on the second floor. He escaped in a riot en route to an interview with the MRC.

He says that the chatelaine, Edouarde Bouchet, is odd and disturbing.

Precautions are being taken against the use of Porté with nobles often held with their hands chained behind their back. It is not safe to be seen with stained hands"

Dandelion held aloft his own hands which showed the bloody taint of the arcane art he practised.

"The Chevalier carried an unusual message for me from Lucerne advising me to search 5 paces to the west of where Petit Pierre is buried in our family plot.

I have called you together to say that I intend to rescue Lucerne. If you would aid me then I welcome your assistance but I am resolved to travel to Montaigne immediately even if I must go alone"

A hubub filled the room as Borstenn, Avon, Sir Robin and Antonio all sprang to their feet protesting that he would not go alone while they had breath in their bodies. Eduarde swore and said that no one was going to Charouse, which everyone knew has the best brothels in all Montaigne, without him. Pistol nodded, happy to fall in with whatever the others decided but noted that Montaigne Customs were not to be sneezed at.

"But we need not sneeze at any Customs post friend Pistol" said Borstenn. "We can travel down the Rotstrom to La Belle Isle and use the gateway there to Charouse !"

The companions considered other possible routes (overland across the mountains, to Siger and up river to Charouse) but quickly agreed that the gateway would be the quickest and most direct if it was feasible. Borstenn said that he would check with Madeline Bisset of the Explorer's Society regarding that route.

"As for your hands Dandelion, the only solution is a cunning disguise" continued Borstenn. "Clowns for example might have coloured hands..."

"You could play the noble about to be executed in a travelling group of players...."

"A leper with bandaged hands....."

"We could dye your hands blue and say you are a dyer....."

The suggestions came thick and fast. Ultimately Dandelion said he would take them all on board (except for the leper idea which might be a one way ticket to a leper colony).

While the others busied themselves preparing their kit, Anbtonio left to arrange passage down the Rotstrom and Borsten called on Madelaine de Bisset.

Upon their return Borstenn advised of the latest news that Madelaine had heard from Montaigne. Admiral Valoix had been reinstated as head of the Montaigne Navy. An amnesty had been offered to all nobles who gave up sorcery and to royalty who surrendered their titles. The wearing of gloves had been outlawed.

So far as La Belle Isle was concerned Madelaine had advised Borstenn that the island was under the interdict of the Explorers Society and that an expedition had been planned for a months time.

"An inter what ?" asked Pistol. When Sir Robin explained the word Pistol commented that it obviously couldn't apply to them which seemed to be the view of the rest of the companions also.

The party quickly gathered their kit together and departed for the wharves. It became apparant that Dandelion had taken up the dyer disguise as his hands were now a delicate robins egg blue.

Embarking on a fast riverboat raker the companions spent 9 days on the journey downriver and to La Belle Isle. As the ships boat dropped them off in the misty bay the Captain assured them that he would be back to pick them up in 3 days time or his name wasn't Don Diego de Garcia.

"What was the Captain's name again Antonio" asked Sir Robin.

"No idea" said Antonio.

.................................................................................

They were making their way up from the landing to where the valley closed on either side. Suddenly Borstenn stopped and held up his hand.

"There is someone above us..." he began before a volley of shots rang out and blood sprang from his chest. Musket smoke rose from the slope to the right where piratical figures could be seen lowering their weapon. A second movement alerted Dandelion to a similar group on the slope to the left. They fired but before the bullets could reach their mark Dandelion had ripped a hole in the air in front of them. A sharp unworldly cry rang out from the interstices of reality as the bullets struck....something.

A figure drew a mark on Pistol but the play of his features fluttered to reflect a leprechaun and he lithely danced away from the bullet. Avon drew his bow and quickly loosed a shot at the group who had shot Borstenn. One fell.

Eduarde unsheathed his weapons and rushed the group to the left. In a flurry of steel he knocked them unconscious. Antonio closed on the leader who appeared to be a woman.

More shots rang out as the two leaders fired and dropped pistols with uncanny facility. Antonio, Pistol and Eduarde were all hit.

Pistol charged up the slope to the right as a musket ball seared his forehead. His countenance changed again to reflect a stern queen and the wound stopped bleeding. Sir Robin dealt swiftly with the remaining brutes as Pistol knocked their corporal to the ground.

"Run away" came the cry from the scurvy brigands and they all took to their heels. Antonio however cleverly cut off the woman and she threw her arms around Eduarde thanking him for rescuing her from the evil pirates. "My mother" she whimpered. "I must return to them or they will kill my mother. Captain Kheired-Din captured us and has been holding us as slaves".

Pistol gathered up the assorted weapons, marvelling at the ill luck that had let them wander into such a formidably armed ambush. 15 pistols, 12 muskets and 11 cutlasses.

Eduarde was comforting Chola while his hand slipped up the back of her jacket. Pistol landed a blow on her neck and Eduarde sprang to her defence, outraged. "You would strike a defenceless woman, you you couchon..." he spluttered. He drew his sword but his outrage prevented him from using the blade effectively.

"Dats no woman, dats a poisonous snake that'll bite you agin unless yer strike off its head" Pistol expostulated.

"Go, go save your mother" Eduarde shouted, clearing the way for Chola to escape. She needed no encouragement and made her departure quick smart.

Turning from intericine disputes Dandelion and Pistol quickly set about relieving Borstenn but their minstrations were of little effect. Dandelion had more success treating the cuts and scrapes that Eduarde had received.

.........................................................

At the end of the valley they found the Cave of Evil and stepped inside. Pistol lit the candle on his miner's cap and they wandered deeply inside the cavern until they reached an intersection that none recalled. "This way" said Borstenn as he sniffed the air and followed a thin reek. Down the corridor they found the decayed corpse of Mario who had led them on the ill-fated expedition from which he never returned.

Further down the tunnel closed off behind a pedestal. Borstenn mounted the pedestal and with a "pouf" disappeared. One by one the companions did the same.

Each of them fell from midair into the filth of a Charouse sewer. The walls seemed to have been handworked.

After stumbling throught the sewers for some time they saw a light closing from the distance. "Halt who goes there" came the cry in Montaignen.

"It is Borstennskoldmund" said Borstenn. "Not Borstennskoldmund the famous opera singer" came the reply. "It is I, Captain Chevalier, of the Musketeers. What are you doing again in Charouse and especially in the sewers ?"

"We might ask you the same good Captain" responded Borstenn. "We are here for the brothels" interrupted Eduarde.

"Well many of the musketeers have had to hide from the Revolutionary Guard in their cursed tricolour cockades. The sewer is as good a place as any...but as for you ?"

"You appear to be an enemy of our enemies M'sieur and so I say to you that I am here to rescue my brother Lucerne from the Chateau de Rouillement Noble" Dandelion stepped forward to address the Captain.

"I wish you every success mon ami" said the Captain grasping Dandelion's arm. "You will need a pass and should speak to Alphonse the Fly, the best forger in Charouse if you cannot obtain one any other way. You may find friends at the theatre Circle du Chant but you should hurry. I understand Lucerne may be sentenced this very week" With a splash the Captain waded away, whistling through his moustaches.