flat out

Flat out... like a punctured tyre...

I have a mystery flat in my rear wheel.

I pump it up. It deflates, but not all the way, and then stays there, slightly too flat. I have put a couple of patches in it recently, but there’s nothing stuck in the tyre. I can only think that there is a small leak where the valve joins the tube, which seals up when it deflates a sufficient amount.

It has been like this for a couple of weeks now. I can’t pump it up; it will just go down again, maybe all the way this time. I know I should just replace the tube and be done with it, but down that path danger lay. I don’t know about anyone else, but to me it seems to be a law of nature or something that brand new inner tubes attract punctures. They are drawn to them, and within a short period of time the new tube will be hissing like a deflating tyre. Not only this, but it has also been my observation that a puncture is usually followed by to or three more in quick succession. I can ride for months with no problems, then blam, I get three in the same week. I can ride on a slightly too flat tyre for weeks, and as soon as I pump it up to full pressure it explodes. I have observed this happen I don’t know how many times, hence my reluctance to fix my mystery flat. It’s not an ideal situation, but I know that as soon as I do anything about it I’ll regret it.

I don’t know if this is something I am bringing upon myself, by thinking about it and expecting it to happen, I somehow make it happen, or if it is something that has always happened and I am just recognising the pattern? Either way, I try to direct my actions in ways that reduce the risk of a puncture. This indicates a reluctance to partake of the experience. It must be the will of the gods that brings about a flat tyre. And If it is the will of the gods, then it is pointless to dispute the justice or otherwise of the situation. It is better to just get on with it and fix the tyre. The gods care nothing for my complaints, why even utter them?

The puncture gets me off the bike and delays me from my destination. A patched tube is not as good as one unsullied by the touch of vulcanising cement. When I think like this a puncture is a right old pain in the arse. I get pissed off and throw the bike around (poor thing) and patch it up hastily and do a half-arsed job of it and consequently end up doing it again when the patch falls off, which then pisses me off even more. And so it goes on, down into the pit of hell.

This is on the bad days.

The rest of the time, most of the time, I don’t mind the delay. I can sit down and take as long as I need to do the job properly. Then the patch will hold, and while it still may not be as beautiful as a non-patched one, at least it does the job, and that’s good enough for my purposes. Sitting by the side of the road, waiting for the cement to dry is actually kind of peaceful. There is nothing I need to do or think about other than waiting. There is no point in hurrying; it takes as long as it takes no matter what I think of the situation, so it’s just as easy to relax.

I would still prefer not to have a puncture or a soft squidgy tyre like I have now. I will get a new tube and fit it soon, it's the only sensible option. A new tube is a good thing. While it remains pure and virginal, before any sharp prodding objects penetrate its tender membrane, it carries me in its loving, air cushioned embrace over the hard earth. It is youthful and strong and infects the rider with youthfulness and strength, the joy abounds.... sorry, got a bit carried away there.

Of course, flights into the sun usually result in melted wings, and a fall to earth. Despite all my efforts to avoid glass, or slamming into kerbs, or whatever, I know that it won’t last forever, and one day soon I will find myself again sitting by the side of the road watching the traffic hurtle past, waiting for the cement to dry. waiting… waiting... second coat of cement… waiting… waiting... patch... pump... ride on... I try to remind myself that it is neither good nor bad, it’s just a thing that happens. Fix it. Get on with life.

Now, I really must take a look at those brake pads.....