By chance I happened to be listening to the radio yesterday and overhead somebody reading out a recipe that contained cream cheese.

Now your probably all wondering, why did I emphasize cream cheese? Cream cheese isn't anything special, it is just normal food really, well so you would think....

A caller rang after this recipe was read with a complaint of cream cheese being a 'foreign, yuppy food'. Furthermore it wasn't 'good old traditional Aussie tucker'. I was already laughing and the best is yet to come.

And before you ask, yes she was an old Australian woman.

When asked what her idea of 'good old traditional Aussie tucker' was she listed the following steps in preparing such a traditional meal:

• Purchase some frozen meat pies.
• Microwave them.
• Remove all the "meat" from the pies and place it into a bowl.
• Mix tomato sauce into this.
• Serve as is with crackers.

I nearly drove into a light pole due to my head exploding from such stupidity when I heard this.

Now I can't really see how cream cheese is 'foreign, yuppy food', but for microwave meat pies in their original form to be considered food let alone being considered 'good old traditional Aussie tucker' after being bastardized into some kind of dip blows me away. I can imagine the situation just before dinner:

Wife: Love what would you like for dinner?
Husband: Oh, a steak would be great darling.
Wife: That isn't traditional Aussie tucker Norm.
Husband: Sorry Shirl, make what you want.
Wife: OK, cow offal with tomato sauce dip.
Husband: Sounds great, thanks darl.

Just one the side, I found this really funny. I wonder if honesty was the best policy in this case?

I have come to the conclusion Satan must be a homosexual.

Now before anybody jumps down my throat, I do have proof, well what passes as proof in my sick mind anyway.
But...I'm too lazy to write about it now.

However what I'm not to lazy to write about is something I observed very recently, have any of you ever noticed how homeboys never have women around them?

I'm not talking about your average ADIDAS wearing homie, I mean the loud mouth cheap-ass PUMA homie, we all know the kind, with the bright yellow CHAMPION pullover and the rip-off bright blue pants that sits around talking to his bro's very loudly, normally reaching out a hand and touching one another.

They actually had a very disturbing habit at high-school of reaching out and grabbing each other's testicles, something I could never figure out, was it they liked the idea of furry dice, were they checking to see if their friend hadn't been abducted and replaced by aliens, who knows?

The strangest thing about the habit was that after touching each other's testicles they would immediately grab their own.

I saw the funniest thing not to long ago. At the university I frequent (I wouldn't call it attending), they seem to have an obsession with watering everything, from grass to buildings to concrete walkways. They have an annoying sprinkler system that has on at least one occasion jumped on and sprayed me.

Now a few days ago I was walking along and noticed a sprinkler aiming water at the walkway... nothing unusual, university policy is to water concrete....what stood out was the 4-wheel drive parked adjacent to the walkway, directly across from the sprinkler, this 4 wheel-drive was getting the entire contents of the sprinkler system aimed at it. The funny thing was 10 minutes later somebody had moved the 4 wheel-drive so the other side faced the sprinkler, in what I thought was a clever way to get a free car wash.

On a funnier note I always have wondered how a christian family can explain sex to their children, and yet attempt to teach them it is bad. Well thanks to a the Christian Sex Ed LP they will never need to!

Entitled "True Love Waits" this provides stunning insight on how to explain menstruation, abstinence and child birth to a child. An example of the dialogue exchange on this follows:

BETTY: That's wonderful, mother. Does this happen every month? Even before a girl is married?
MOTHER: That's right, honey.
BETTY: So you mean, you sorta bleed?

Seeing as this did not convince little Betty that menstruation is fun, the mother resorts to the christian manner of explanation:

MOTHER: The thing to remember always is this is a natural thing - a Holy thing. It means that God is preparing your body for the wonderful calling of motherhood - if that is his plan for you.

I recommend you all read through this, just so you can tell your child what God wants to do with his genetalia.

I was reading through some forums at work...(yes I do have too much spare time at work)....and came across a pretty interesting post titled "Spears w/o makeup".

Now this stood out so I sorted through 3 pages of posts and came up with some amazingly good quotes:

• "she has that weird friggin voice the same that justin from nsync does."
  
  
• Original Post:
  fuck canada and i'd fuck her
  And the response:
  You'd fuck Canada?....That'd take one hell of a penis.
  
  
• Aguilera is just as much of a slut as britney, but aguilera has talent to offset her slutiness.
  
  
• She is famous because
  A.) There are guys out there who want to fuck her brains out
  B.) There are chicks out there who want to be her because there are guys out there who want to fuck her brains out.
  
  
• Original Post:
  well..Britney does a lot of lip service..cristina can at least sing.. as for her boinking justin...say it aint so.
  And the response:
  Of course he isn't! he's busy banging the rest of NSync!

Now don't get me wrong, Brittney Spears is very talented in my opinion, in fact I believe her and Joey Lawerence should sing a duet...for all who don't know who Joey Lawrence he was Joey from Blossom... (how did he ever remember his screen name?)....with a duet like this the albums would fly from the rack.
To combat this flying from the rack Brittney may need more implants placed in the rack.