Now I was thinking today.

No I can't prove it.

Anyway, what induced this event was a trip to the grocery store. I bought a packet of Kelloggs Frosties, chock a block full of frosty goodness. Now on the back of the box there was a little comic. That comic had Tony Tiger (Frosties), Toucan Sam (Fruit Loops), Honey Bear (Honey Smacks) and Coco (Coco-Pops).

Now looking at it I was thinking. Is it Coco the Monkey or Coco the Chimpanzee. There are cases for both arguments.

1. Coco the Monkey sounds better then Coco the Chimpanzee.
2. Coco and Chimpanzee both start with C. Coco-Pops starts with C. See what I'm getting at?

Now I couldn't really figure it out. I mean what is his name? After racking my mind for 3 seconds, I looked at the side of the box and got the number of the Kelloggs information line. I rung them up. I was informed that they didn't know. How could they not know?

I was distraught. I then turned to the good-ole' net. Kelloggs' website not only gave me all the information that I needed but hours of fun watching the ads on their site. I also gained the following disturbing information.

Everybody meet Cornelius Rooster. Cornelius is the official mascot of Kellogg's Corn Flakes. Ummm...what the fuck? I have never seen this guy on even the boxes of the shit let alone on the ads. It stunned me to see that Cornelius even existed. Oh what a merry gang of friends that must be. Tony the Tiger, Toucan Sam, Honey Bear, Coco the Monkey and Cornelius Rooster. Do you see the odd one out. If you can't I want you to go to the bathroom open the toilet seat, put your head on the basin and then slam the seat down repeatedly.

I can imagine a potential conversation between the friends:

Tony: What are we going to do today guys?
Sam: I'm gonna fly over people's heads and shit. How loopy!
Honey Bear: I'm going to steal picnic baskets with boo-boo.
Coco: I'm going to help Yogo Gorilla save the world.
Cornelius: I'm going to hoot loudly in the morning then eat worms.
Tony: Your such a fagot Cornelius.

On a related, and probably more important topic, you can get pictures of the Hi-5 girls on the back of 800g boxes of rice bubbles. Man they are hot. Well that's the end of todays update, I got 15 boxes of Hi-5 bubbles to eat my way through.

I went down the the local club a few nights ago. It was a bit unusual as I don't really go there that often and the fact that I was with old friends from high-school, who with the exception of two I don't really see that much anymore. editors note: insert ever into that much

Anyway we were sitting there and one friend was busy looking at women as all real men do (note: sarcasm). One girl walked past and he made a comment. An embarrassing dialogue ensued (note: names have been changed to protect the innocent):

Matt: Man look at her.
Bjorn: She's a bit fat and her tits are everywhere.
Me: Who?!?
Now I looked up and caught a quick glimpse at her as she walks past. Snicker on my face.
She now walks towards us and past, I get a good look. The snicker turns into a nasty chuckle.
Me: Isn't that Kylie?
Bjorn: Hang on, I think it is. Matty that's Ryan's sister.
Matt: Shit hey.
Now as Matt is hanging his head in shame, the vultures circle their prey.
Me: Man she's like a kid.
Bjorn: I think it's probably related to the fact that he secretly has a crush on Ryan.
Me: Matty and Ryan sitting in the tree......
Matt: Shutup you guys.
Me: So your going to turn up to their house with flowers tomorrow?

OK OK...so I've been caught out. What I said wasn't really true.

I didn't change the names. Hey wassup Matty?

It seems that some people got slightly upset with the update I made on the 5th of September. To be specific it seems that the comment I made "And before you ask, yes she was an old Australian woman" was deemed as racist and offensive. So I will take this opportunity to apologize for any offence I caused by this remark.

It didn't even occur to me that this comment may be interpreted in a racist manner as I myself am not racist. The only way that anybody could take legitimate offence to that remark is the fact it was based on a belief of mine.

What belief? Well it is pretty simple, I have a belief that the following mathematical relationship holds:

Now what that basically means , there is that funny symbol in the middle that means is related to. So as the right side of the equation increases as does the left. I've found that the older people get the less tolerant they get. This is not to say the elderly don't have a place in the world, I have learnt a lot from the elderly, but I just think their opinions should not be counted. See I'm not racist.

Now to change topic.

I have an old TV in my front yard, well parts of it anyway. What happened was our old TV broke so we got a new one. This took about 2 years, apparantely my parents were waiting for a REALLY good one in the hopes it would improve the shit that is on TV. That is no joke it was a comment that was made about the TV "It isn't that good, it still has the same shows.".

This old TV was placed out the front of our house in the vain hope that the local council would do what we pay it to do and pick it up, they didn't. It has slowly crept back into the house and now sits in 5 separate pieces in our front yard. The funny thing is I doubt it fell apart itself. My view is supported by the fact somebody stole the speakers that were in the TV. I believe I last heard them in a gemini driving past my house about 30 minutes ago. It sounded sick.

Has anybody ever noticed how now matter how sensitive you are you laugh at what really is somebody else's misfortune. Think about it, you laugh if somebody on TV trips downstairs, you probably laugh if somebody gets hit in the head with some type of projectile object, heck you probably even laugh when one of your friends does an impersonation of a handicapped person.

Now you all being the arseholes that you are might find these funny. I have found some links that find the humor in other people's misfortunes, heck I'll be laughing for at least another week about some of them.

Farmers pumped water into cows, say police. Apparently a farmer would shove a hose down the cows throat and then pump the cow full of water so it would be larger come sale time.

Concern over silver paint victim. Will those silly South Africans ever learn? Now they painted a man silver and he may be dying.

Man tries to amputate his own testicles. I'm not even going to try and explain.

To change topic slightly I saw something funny when I was at the train station today. At peak time in the morning trains going to North Sydney are pretty full and today was especially bad (quite a few tourists funnily enough). Anyway I climbed up the stairs, and got on the platform to see some stupid little man running from carriage door to carriage door right down the length of the train, thinking that he would magically be able to squeeze on, never mind the droves of people turning away from the carriage door, disheartened at the fact they wouldn't be able to have a 40 minute smoko-break before work.

Funny thing was one of the men who works for cityrail, who is burdened with the difficult job of blowing a whistle when he feels like getting the train moving (ie. ran out of good looking girls to have a look at) blew the whistle while this guy was between doors, so the doors just slammed shut in his face. I have never heard somebody swear so loudly before.