I got a very disturbing e-mail from a reader. He was asking if he can have a section put up here at Chop Shop. The only question I had for him is why. But after a bit of discussion with him it was decided that he would have his own section.

His name is James Nemyer and he is a post-graduate med. student. From the conversations I've had with him he seems to be one wacky guy.

Me: So you want to be part of Chop Shop? You realize you'll have to update fairly regularly?
James: Yes.
Me: So what are you going to do with your section.
James: I don't know.
Me: Sounds great. Are you eager?
James: Yes.

I don't know about you but I can hardly wait.

Now last night the Olympic opening ceremony took place. It was pretty good, considering how bad I thought it would be. It even had people pretending to be swimming in air. Now Sydney is, just like every other city that has hosted the Olympics putting on a spectator sport.

Now out of all the great sports we could have picked, we decided on Ballroom dancing. Yes, I did write Ballroom dancing.

Apparently trials are being held in bingo halls all around Sydney, and the finals will be held in a local RSL. A-Tickets cost approx. seven dollars.

I was driving around earlier today, and drove past the local centrelink. Now this is a place where people who are unemployed, on pension or disabled can go to get money. It's like a bank that you only have to withdraw from.

Now realizing that in a socio-economic juggernaut like Bankstown, only the "cream" of society in this area go to this place. It is quite funny lines of people coming out of the place, cars double parked, people with towels on their head everywhere.

The thing that I want done however is to change the name from centrelink to Bankstown Cultural Centre. They can form a club. It can kind of be an elite group, Bankstown's answer to the Masons. Sooner or later many more branches can open in places such as Campbelltown.

They can meet regularly and discuss techniques on dodging work and getting money from people who aren't good enough to be part of their group. Well to be honest it is already happening. I was lucky enough to be able to sneak into a meeting and take notes on the meeting.

Norm: The meeting is start'n now mate.
Chang: They come to my house, try make me work for dole.
Akbar: The bastards, lets get 'em bro.
Norm: Not so quick mate, whatcha do Chang?
Chang: I pretend I no speak english.
Norm: Great, but next time do what I do and start hitting the wife.

Now to change topic, because talking about those people makes me want to try give one of them an enema with a sledgehammer.

Did you ever get sore thumbs from controllers on the old Nintendo? Come on those of you that had a nintendo must have got some type of cramp from them, after playing for 5 hours and making Mario eat all those mushrooms. Well if you haven't you'll be even more amused to hear there are people who have had bad experiences from these things, even to the point of having been sent to hospital for spinal taps because of the little things:

I exploded and i went nuts on the controller, using my whole hand to spin the thing. It said I had done it 59 times and I had won a mini-game. When I tried to move my hand off the controller, I noticed that the controller was stuck to my hand. I peeled the controller off and I soon realized that I was peeling the skin off my hand as well.

There is even a section on people who thought they could hold it while playing...but it ended up flowing all the way out.

When you think of great presents many things come to mind right?

And to cope with that people in their infinite wisdom bundle multiple things into one multi-purpose package. Like a pen with a clock in it, or those knives on those telemarketing ads that can cut tomatoes as well as shoes.

Somebody has taken it a bit too far though. This came from a catalog that was jam-packed full of great ideas for potential gifts in father's day:

Yes, you can now open your beer bottle with the same device you use to change the TV with.
It even comes in an attractive green color.

Now if you look carefully you can see that there are 6 buttons on this device. Not only do they count on you being lazy but they would like you to be stupid also.

Now can anybody imagine having a serious use for such a device? Who uses bottle openers anyway?

Today will hopefully mark the end of my product based content, but then again I guess none of you noticed it?

Now I was watching the Emmy's yesterday. You know that award show where you could see Geena Davis' bush. That was a great dress.

Anyway, one of the ads featured Herron's new capsule named Capseal. Basically my friends and I starting laughing at the way it was presented, with a tablet in the middle, and then two pieces of gelatin (If you don't know what that is imagine plastic), coming together and fusing. It looked pretty damn stupid as they were touting this as new age stuff. Now I thought it would be funny to rip into this so I went to the Herron website to have a look for material.

I was very wrong, it turns out these things are actually useful for tamper free medicine or something like that.

So to sum up, to explain my confusion I believe either of these paths maybe chosen:

1. I have a completely warped sense of reality.
2. Herron have a very bad marketing scheme.

I can't really make up my mind, I believe it is a mixture of both.

Now to address an e-mail I had sent to me, gaze upon the intelligence displayed in the following quote:

"Would it be funny if somebody made a site, hasslig you and your own kind you lesbian bitch?"

YES! But on the side....ummm...lesbian? I'm still laughing at that one while scratching my balls you moron. Thank Bill for the Recycle Bin and it's hunger for e-mail.