I'm a big fan of those AD&D PC games, like Baldur's Gate and Icewind Dale and all that.

Now I was thinking about the way the armor class thing is done. Apparently having bigger bulkier armor means that people will miss you easier.

Now I understand that wearing plate mail as opposed to nothing is better for you if somebody is swinging a sword at you, but this is because it won't hurt as much. It isn't as if wearing metal armor makes you super agile and gives you the ability to dodge bullets does it?

I'm imagining that whoever made these rules is of the belief that middle age knights did acrobatics while riding their horses in jousting events.

If this is the case shouldn't gymnasts wear some type of armor? Or would that be an illegal performance enhancement?

Anyway that is another rant that I only will find amusing. Apparently many people found this amusing though. Apparently Satan has moved into a Sims neighborhood. You all know the Sims right? That game that allows you to simulate having a life. Have a look at an exert from Satan's diary.

The Time of Horrific Eternal and Extremely Painful Reckoning From Beyond is nearly here, and soon all the intolerable humans will suffer at my hands. First on the list is that sniveling worm of a man Daniel. Not only was he a poor employee, but he's also a horrible cook.

I don't really know what this made fun of, Satan or the stupidity of this game. Maybe both.

My September birthday just passed and nobody remembered. Maybe my dentist did and the postcard was his funny way of showing affection?

Just before I start James has updated his part of the site.

Now for all the people who just crawled out from under a rock on some remote island, we are hosting the Olympics in Sydney. Now one of our five TV stations has rights to broadcast the games and does so pretty much all day. Now they take a break at 6 PM to put on the daily news. This news show has turned into a 30 minute summary of today's Olympic events. The rest of the world has stopped apparently.

I thought I saw a non-olympic related event, when they began discussing the escape of two prisoners from a jail. No such luck however, it was only on TV because they hijacked an official Olympics vehicle and because the jail is very close to the main Olympic site.

They normally do a little "skit" style story during the news at the end after the weather. Lately this skit has become world news. I can forsee tomorrow's skit being related to a bombing of the third world country by UN troops.

As if this wasn't enough the channel has decided to place two extremely unfunny men doing some late night commentary on the olympics in a bad attempt at humor. They had a member of the Australian women's basketball team on last night. The conversation was amazing.

Funny Guy 1: So they have 15,000 condoms for the athletes. That isn't enough is it?
Woman: I don't know. The cubans are going through a lot apparently.
Funny Guy 2: Really. You'd better stay away from those cubans.
Woman: Yeah.
Funny Guy 1: So how about that game you guys had.
Woman: Yeah we did pretty well....(Now cut off)
Funny Guy 2: How about those cubans?
Woman: Yeah.
Funny Guy 1: Anyway good luck with your Olympics campaign.
Woman: Thanks.
Funny Guy 2: You'd better stay away from those cubans.

What an informative and witty series of comments these men made. Not only did I discover that the cubans have sex a lot, I also discovered that if you repeat a joke 3 times people might laugh at it eventually, no matter how funny it isn't.

I got a strange postcard in the mail today. It was unusual because I don't know anybody who has left the country.

It was also strange because it had a picture of Kermit the Frog on the front claiming that he is missing me not being in the office. I turned it over and it was from my dentist....and I thought I had a friend. (Can you hear the violins playing in the background?)

Now what else confused me was why they sent me a postcard. Did they hear some gossip about my dental hygiene? I don't really know.

Off that topic which only makes sense to me, to one that might make sense to somebody else. I can understand people celebrate religious holidays in various form and of various types. Christians have Christmas and Easter, Hindus have Diwali and Judaic people have Passover, Yom Kippur and another funny one that I found, the 10 Plagues. Well really it is a part of Passover but I find it funny that a site has decided on fun ways to reenact the 10 plagues, with brilliant ideas such as:

Darkness--Tape brown paper bags over all the windows, draw all draperies to keep it dark in the daytime, or don't turn on any lights in the evening.

I recommend you read about the 10 Plagues Adventure for a bit of a laugh.

This update has been intentionally short as many of you guys have the attention span of gnats and complain if the posts are more then 10 lines.

I was thinking about the bible today. What brought about this was my dinner which was fish.

Now three things crossed my mind. The first one was that I really don't like eating fish ever since the sushi incident, and that my friends is an entire update on it's own.

The next two things were whether Noah took sea life onto the ark, and whether Joseph was and remained a virgin.

Now the Noah thing got me interested. I can see two possibilities:

1. He either took them on, and this would include plankton, and built tanks and jars.
2. He didn't take them on as common sense would suggest.

Now as you can imagine the fish would have an obvious advantage over land and air creatures, a flood really makes their life easier doesn't it? But did this occur to Noah? Quite possibly not.

Now the only possible scenario I can see to make it just is to have some type of caustic flood that will cause the seas to have either a large increase or a large decrease in acidity levels. This way the fish would also suffer. But chances are that the ark would be destroyed in such rainfall.

To battle this unfairness there should be a 40 day drought or something along those lines, so that fish and squid alike can suffer as did man.

Related to the flood, when the 40 days was up they found dry land. But I am wondering what Noah and the animals fed on. I can take the belief that Noah may have been a vegetarian, but what did the Lion's eat. If there was only two of everything this could explain what happened to the dinosaurs. T-Rex ate the rest and then Noah and the Lion carved him up.

Now onto Joseph. Mary was a virgin and he was with her. So I guess if he was a good man he would be a virgin also. Now I understand Mary being the mother of Jesus and all, but I really do think Joe deserves a bit of credit for going the distance. To top that off I don't think he would have been allowed to 'Spank the Monkey' either.

But then again, they say it was a virgin birth. Does that mean that Mary remained a virgin after the birth? I always wondered this. Maybe if I read the book my questions would be answered.

So to sum up today's update. A male virgin deserves credit, Noah and the Lion's killed the dinosaurs while the fish population thrived in new land due to unfairness.

I believe we should all sign a petition demanding god cause a 40 day drought to kill all fish, and to also have an amendment to the bible to give more credit to Joe.