Does anybody remember that reference I made to the 'Sushi Incident' a few weeks ago? Oh well you probably don't.

The incident occured about 3 years ago. I went out with this girl to a sushi train bar thingy (why my food was circling around the table I do not know). The deal was I was 16 and trying to impress her by being 'cultured'. Now she had eaten the stuff before, so when we got there she immediately warned be about the wasabi.

A warning that something was bad? Time to insert 16 year old macho ideals into the day. I quickly scooped up a fair amount of wasabi and placed it on both ends of the little sea-weed roll. Now at this time I was probably tensing my muscles to make myself look bigger as well, as well as swearing loudly and eyeing down smaller guys.

I placed the sushi in my mouth and their was an explosion. I spat the sushi out all over the train. I don't think it was pleasant for anybody involved that day.

My delicate ego was shattered.

Now something funny I saw online a few days ago. Apparantely most wrestling fans need an ego boost in getting difficult questions right. So a poll on WWF.com was setup in such a manner:

YAY. I picked the right one.

Which network did you think he would be on?

I haven't update for two days, because I've been a bit under the weather with a cold. Oh well....

Now a warning. I'd only click this link if your not put off by things easily. It isn't exactly that nice to swallow. Oh that was a bad pun.

Anyway semenex, the way apparantely to get women craving your semen by giving it a pleasant taste. This really amused me. It is headlined as being :

The Only Product Guaranteed to Enhance the Flavor of Cum!

Well throw out the pineapple juice everybody! Here is a product that will make your cum taste delicious. Just look at what women had to say:

"Mmmm!" she said, her eyes widening in surprise as she swallowed.
"You're... delicious!" With a smile, she swallowed again, deeply.
With a little laugh, she shook her head in disbelief. "It's actually good! I could really get used to this."
"So could I," I thought, smiling down at her.
She smiled wickedly back. "More?" she begged.

So to ensure you no longer have No More Bitter, Salty Cum order your semenex now.

Now I'm playing a game called Fallout 2. It is pretty slow and the combat is pretty damn bad being turn based and everything, but the storyline is pretty good. It just has one annoying bug.

You purchase a car during the game for a fairly large amount of money and it is worth that amount because you can move around the map quicker as well as put your gear in the trunk. Now the trunk will sometimes disappear and you are left with the front of the car, which isn't too bad because you can still drive it. The bad bug is when the front of the car is the part that disappears. You are left with a car trunk and nothing else. It is amusing to see the thing just standing there on it's own. It really is the worst bug I've ever seen in a game.

A wise man once told me:

If you want to make big in life it have to do something special and take risks. Oh yeah put funny pics on your site for your readers too.

I thought long and hard about this cryptic answer to the question of life until I realized what he meant. I'd have to buy many lottery tickets as well as put up stupid pictures on my site.

A masturbatory device I think....don't ask me what the fuck it is about.

The Horny Remover. The perfect companion for all those lonely housewives. Now I looked at it...the Horny Remover. What the hell is it? I don't see anybody putting anything like that near an orifice, it might just be a callous remover, hence the lady rubbing it on her elbow.

Then I thought about it more. It could be some weird elbow fetish that the people of Japan have. Could Japanese women possibly masturbate by rubbing their elbows with rough egg shaped objects? I wish all women enjoyed this kind of bodily contact. It would make for interesting porn movies. Hardcore Elbow Loving Action.

Well now it is time to sort through my mail. As usual there are a few goodies in the inbox.

How can you bag out the Sims. It is a really good game and has sold heaps of copies. I can't believe how stupid you are for calling it stupid.

Hmmm... I did call the game stupid, didn't I? People who like it as much as you are stupider though. Go get a life and stop trying to live a cyber-life.

I hope you go to hell for the crap you wrote about Noah and Joseph and Mary.

Woah....I didn't write it read the book, I just interpreted it. I got a lot of mail about this one, well you can't please everybody I guess and I am not really trying to please anybody. Next your going to get offended if I say Eve and her children should go to hell. I can't remember whether she had a female child or not, but there must have been some type of incest going on there anyway.

You notice how the man Adam comes out clean in this one?

First off... hahahahaha..... I can't believe how many people sent me happy b-day emails. It was fine for the people that I don't actually know, but for the four friends of mine that sent me those emails or rung me up the next day... hehehe... it was 3 months ago... remember?

Nothing is funnier than them apologizing for forgetting my birthday when it was 3 months before. I love gullibility.

Anyway, I went and got KFC a few days ago. Now there is one not far from my house which recently has turned halal. Basically this means that Islamic people can eat there in confidence that they are breaking no religious rules. This means that they also have no bacon for their burgers anymore. I love stirring them up by going in there and asking for a bacon and cheese burger. They adamantly say no.

Anyway I went in a few days ago like I said and after initial greetings conducted the following conversation:

Me: I'll have a two piece feed.
Girl: What?
Me: A two piece feed. Do you have bacon and cheese burgers anymore?
Girl: NO! We don't have bacon at this store.
Me: Really...hmmm...I'll just have a normal burger then.
Girl: Huh?
Me: I'll have a normal burger. (I was speaking pretty clearly both times)
Girl: Do you want anything else with that?
Me: No.
Girl: Youse don't want to upsize that do you? No. (Yes she answered herself)
Me: Yes actually, I do. (I now hand over my money)
Girl: Do you want anything else with that?
Me: No. (I now receive my change and pick up the bags)
Girl: Do you want anything else with that? (I had the door open on my way out right now)
Me: Umm...no.

Now what could I say. The transaction had been completed and she was still asking me if I wanted more. Yes I wanted some bacon. Now I don't have a problem with them not eating bacon or pork, hey each to their own, but I don't like the fact they get angry at me for wanting it. Well.... actually I find it funny that I get to opportunity to stir them up so easily, so I hope they keep on doing it.