Toilet Paper

Just the gift for:

• Any person who defecates. (and don't we all?)
• Any 4 year old pirate.
• The organisers of SpitwadMania 2001.

Above is shown a roll of toilet paper, or TP for short. TP is a bit of a celebrity item, as it is speculated that celebrities from Madonna and Mel Gibson right through too MC Hammer and the Spice Girls regularly used this item. As shown below Steve Martin takes a roll everywhere he goes.

Now where is that other roll

If the promise of living like a star isn't enough to make you purchase this fine product think of the many other uses this product has.

Picture the scenario. Your at a club, you picked up the best looking woman you have ever seen. She takes you by the hand and leads you back to a motel, that she suspiciously had pre-booked even though she is claiming it is her first time.... she slowly removes her clothing to reveal no bra or panties on and then it is your turn.

You take off your fishnet shirt and your tight leather pants, and then go to remove your underwear. What do you see? SKID MARKS. This has totally ruined the mood and she storms out in a fit of rage. Oh if only you had used that TP your grandmother gave you for christmas!

But the uses don't only end at your ass. The cardboard toilet paper roll has powerful telescopic properties as discovered by all kids under the age of five. Just take the cardboard roll and raise it to your eye. Now look out the roll towards distant objects, they instantly become magnified. Why I tried it, go to the next page to see the STARTLING results!