Apu

Apu is the best darn Kwik-e-mart employee in the world! Dusting off expired hotdogs and charging ridiculous prices for merechandise, it is due to him that the store is the most successful on the block.

 

“I’ve just enrolled in screenwriting class. I yearn to tell the story of an idealistic young Hindu, pushed too far by convenience store bandits. I call it, ‘Hands off my jerky, turkey.’”

 

Customer #1: I need one twenty-five cent stamp.
Apu: That’s a dollar eighty-five.
Customer #2: Hi, I want two dollars worth of gas please.
Apu: Four-twenty.
Martin: How much is your penny candy?
Apu: Surprisingly expensive.

 

“Tonight I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.99!”

 

Apu: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon
Nigel: Never fit on a marquee, luv. From now on, your name is Apu De Beaumarchais.
Apu: It is a great dishonour to my ancestors and my god, but okay.

 

Bart: Hey, Apu, this bag of ice has a head in it.
Apu: Oooh! A head bag! Those are chock full of … heady goodness.

 

"Be careful when we capture him! We cannot claim the reward unless we have 51% of the carcass."

 

 

THANK-YOU. COME AGAIN.