Kent is your typical overpaid news anchor - ruthless and selfish with an excellent speaking voice.
"This just in, Krusty the Clown staged a press conference today to defend himself against charges that his products are unsafe, his theme park is a death trap and that he is marketing video's of Tonya Harding's wedding night."
"I am here at the Springfield Aztec Theater when after 8 months and 9 Academy Awards, the Itchy and Scratchy Movie is showing for the last time. Tomorrow a new movie starring Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rourke will open - will it be as successful ? Only time will tell."
"Kent Brockman here once again at The Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, where a complete evacuation has taken place. Details are sketchy at best, so we've taken what little information we have, added our own theories, and concluded that whatever the likely disaster, it's most likely the work of our former president Richard M Nixon, even though he is rumored dead."
"Dozen's of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now, none of them was important. I'm Kent Brockman. At 3pm Friday, local autocrat C Montgomery Burns was shot following a tense confrontation at Town Hall. Burns was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead. He was then transferred to a better hospital where doctors upgraded his condition to 'alive'."
"And in environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield's air is now only dangerous to children and the elderly."
"Springfield will have its first annual "Do What You Feel Festival" this Saturday, whenever you feel like showing up. It'll be a welcome change from our annual "Do As We Say" festival, started by German settlers in 1946."
"The circumference of the well is 34 inches. So, unfortunately, not one member of our city's police force is slender enough to rescue the boy."
"And the results are in. For Sideshow Bob - 100%. For Joe Quimby - 1%. And we remind you that there is a 1% margin of error."
"This is Kent Brockman with a special report from the Channel 6 Newscopter. A large bearlike animal, most likely a bear, has wandered down from the hills, in search of food, or perhaps employment. Please remain calm, stay in your homes."
"Authorities say the phony pope can be recognized by his high-top sneakers, and incredibly foul mouth."
"And as my final newscast draws to a close, I'm reminded of a few of the events that brought me closer to you ; the collapse of the Soviet Union, premium ice cream wars, dogs that were mistakenly issued major credit cards, and others that weren't so lucky. And so, farewell. Eh, and, uh, don't forget to look for my new column in PC World magazine."
"I'm Kent Brockman, on the eleven o'clock news tonight … a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal, we won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with funny Sonny Storm."