Krusty the Clown

Krusty's life has been a series of ups and downs. Heart attacks, family reunions, indictments for tax fraud; he's done them all in style.

“Thirty five years in show business and already nobody remembers me. Just like what’s-his-name and whos-its and, you know, that guy, who always wore a shirt …”

Maude: We’re not talking about love here Marge, we’re talking about S-E-X, in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
Krusty: Sex cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

Bart: Krusty, do you think about your father a lot?
Krusty: All the time. Except when I'm at the track. Then it's all business.

"Hey, Mel. Bring me another Nicotine patch. I think there's some space on my butt."

"I wanted to do something to help the boy. So I called my good friend Sting. He said 'Krusty when do you need me?' I said, 'Thursday.' He said 'I'm busy Thursday.' I said 'What about Friday?' He said 'Friday's worse than Thursday.' Then he said, 'How about Saturday?' I said 'Fine' … True story."

"Welcome to the noble family of skilled Krustaceans. You will now go back to your home towns and do kid's parties, swap meets, and all the other piddling crap I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot clown pole. Now, come and get your catskins … uh, I mean, sheepskins."

Quimby: This can't be happening!
Dr. Hibbert: By all medical logic, steam should be coming out of his ears!
Krusty: His ears if we're lucky!

"A guy walks into a bar and pulls out a 12 inch pianist ... oh I can't tell that one!" (suggested by kim)

HI KIDS