Waylon Smithers

Smithers is Mr Burns' 'happy' assistant. He delights in fulfilling his boss' every wish - whatever that may be.

"Your new duties will include answering Mr Burns' phone, preparing his tax return, moistening his eyeballs, assisting with his chewing and swallowing, lying to Congress, and some light typing."

Burns: Smithers, take off my belt!
Smithers: With pleasure sir.

Smithers: Sir, this can't be right. You assured me this drawing was rigged so that we'd be team mates.
Burns: Yes, well, frankly, you've been a bit of a pill lately.
Smithers: Why do we always fight on vacation?

Burns: Dogs are idiots. Think about it Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over your face, what would you say?
Smithers: Uh ... if YOU did it, sir … ?

YES SIR!