Groundskeeper Willie

This guy is a strange specimen. He enjoys haggis, bagpipe music and is also known as 'Rowdy Roddy Peeper'. Enough said.

 

"Get your haggis, right here! Chopped heart and lungs, boiled in a wee sheep's stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds. Good for what ails ya!"

 

"I dinna cry when me own father was hung for stealing a pig. But I'll cry now."

 

Skinner: Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key?
Willie: No. But the PTA would tear ya a new arse.
Skinner: Wise counsel, William. But the potty talk adds nothing.
Willie: Aye, sir. You bath-taking, underpants-wearing lily-hugger.

 

"If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the whole lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!"

 

Willie: What!? Have ye gone waxy in yer beester?! I canna fit in the wee vent, ye croquet- playin' mint-muncher!
Skinner: Grease yourself up and go in, you ... guff-speaking work slacker.
Willie: Ooh. Good comeback.

 

"Now the kilt was only for day-to-day wear. In battle we donned a full-length ball gown covered in sequins. The idea was to blind your opponent with luxury."

 

"Argh, I'll kill that Mr Burns! And I'll wound that Mr Smithers!"

 

 

AAARGH!