Subject: Messageboard Date: Fri, 02 Jul 1999 00:40:10 +1000 From: Mark Longmuir To: Mark Longmuir Jenna who feels sick: Hey Dean! Do you happen to know why channel three has happened to take off wliia? They've bloody well replaced it with that stupid Judge Judy programme instead! (n/t) (22-Jun-1999 04:31:23) Mark (feeling creative): Hey! We have our own judge... (22-Jun-1999 12:00:37) Jenna: Thanks for making me laugh, Mark!:):):):) (n/t) (22-Jun-1999 22:41:35) Locknestra: ROTFL! That was really great! I hope to see more in the future! (hint, hint!) (n/t) (23-Jun-1999 13:34:19) Jessie: *LOL* Good one Mark! :) (n/t) (23-Jun-1999 14:58:53) Dean: Re: Hey Dean! etc (22-Jun-1999 17:16:19) -- Mark Longmuir - longmuir@labyrinth.net.au Homepage: http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~longmuir/ Whose Line is it Anyway? - http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/8451 "Stop tap dancing, you fool!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Image] [Image] Whose Board is it, Anyway? Hey! We have our own judge... Tuesday, 22-Jun-1999 12:00:37 203.9.148.12 writes: "Now, come behind the courts of law and see it all live. The people are real. The cases are real. The decisions are final. Judge Clive." ("Judge Clive" theme music) "Mr Ryan Stiles claims that the defendant, Mr Colin Mochrie, has stolen his Neon Love Chicken Shirt. Mr Mochrie says he is holding the shirt until Mr Stiles returns his Bird Tie. Now, let the judgement begin." RICHARD: (indicates for everyone to rise) (Judge Clive enters the room) CLIVE: "Okay, Mr Stiles. You claim that Mr Mochrie has stolen your shirt. Could you explain the situation?" RYAN: "Okay, well, I was just sitting in the dressing room one day, and I remembered the response that the shirt had got the first time I wore it on the show. So, I thought, hey, I'll wear it again. And then I found that HE was wearing it under his suit. Without my permission." CLIVE: "And you're suing for... 3 million points?" RYAN: "Yes sir, or the shirt back." CLIVE: "Okay, well, returning his shirt sounds reasonable, Mr Mochrie. Perhaps you could explain why you refuse to do so." COLIN: "Yes, your honour, well, he had said it would be okay for me to use the shirt to go to a fancy dress party. But the next day, I went to put on my Bird Tie, and it was gone. Along with Ryan." CLIVE: "You two were living together?" RYAN: "Yes, your honour. There was only one house in Hollywood at the time with a high enough roof for us." CLIVE: "And you moved out?" RYAN: "I just couldn't stand living with Colin any more. He was keeping Secrets from me, kept Narrating everything I said, and occasionally he'd just throw these incredibly silly lines into the conversation that really didn't make sense." CLIVE: "So you took the tie?" RYAN: "Yes, it was in the props I took with me." CLIVE: "Well, Mr Stiles, you realise you have to give back the tie. And Mr Mochrie, you should give back the shirt too." COLIN: "Like I'd really want to keep it...!" CLIVE: "Well, that's settled then. Mr Vranch, show them out the door." (outside) RYAN: "Well, I'm just happy to have the shirt back, you know... my kid wants a pumpkin costume for Halloween and I really needed it back..." COLIN: "Whew, well I'm just glad that I've got that shirt out of the house. And the tie's good too, you know these bird ones are really hard to find. But what Ryan said about living with me... well, all I can say is, you really don't want to know what he does with camels..." (back inside) "Live on television earlier this year, Mr Tony Slattery underwent the misfortune of splitting his pants. Mr Greg Proops happened to be sitting nearby, close enough to see the event. Now he wants compensation." RICHARD: (gets everyone to rise) (Judge Clive enters) CLIVE: "Be seated. Now, Mr Proops, you want compensation for having to see into Mr Slattery's split pants?" GREG: "Yes, Mr A." CLIVE: "That's Judge A to you, Mr P!" GREG: "Okay, Judgey Boy. Anyway, I really can't describe what I saw. It was horrifying. And what's worse, those pants were PLAID, man! I mean, come on! How bad can you get!" TONY: "That's it! Don't you DARE say that about plaid!" CLIVE: "Mr Slattery! Control yourself or I'll deduct points! Now, if you'd care to explain yourself?" TONY: "Well, quite simply, your honour. It was an accident. I bent over, rrrriiipp went the pants, and out popped my love tackle." GREG: "Eewwwwwwwww...." CLIVE: "Mr Slattery, please keep to a less graphic description!" TONY: "Sorry, your honour. But it was an accident, none-the-less." CLIVE: "I see." GREG: "Yo, Judge..." CLIVE: "Yes, Prostate... I mean, Prosecutor Boy?" GREG: "Mr Slattery here has a history of events such as this. He's well known for being responsible for most of the innuendo on the show, and I could not COUNT the number of time's he's referred to his truncheon or snooker set on air. He's a master of smut and his entendres are nearing a quadruple stage." CLIVE: "So you're suggesting, Mr Proops, that this event was deliberate?" GREG: "I am, Judge A." CLIVE: "Premeditated, even? Do you have that word in America?" GREG: "Yes, Mr Patronising Judge. We have it in America. We also have baths." TONY: "Ooooh, that's a slur against you!" CLIVE: "I am well aware of that, thankyou Tony. Now, I have heard reasonable evidence to suggest that this event was indeed planned, by Mr Slattery, and as such he is responsible for paying full recompense to Greg. I would even go so far as to say that all Tony's points from this and any future games of Whose Line should go to Greg. However, I can't stand to give Greg any points, so this case is dismissed. Totalling up the points, I see that I take them all and I'm now leaving for my poolside room in Los Angeles. Richard, throw them out!" (outside) Tony: "I am absolutely FURIOUS! How DARE Mr Proops insult plaid like that! Plaid is the ultimate in fashion! Only leather jackets or cowboy outfits come CLOSE!" Greg: "Well, what can you expect from these crappy English judges? I mean, their whole system's screwed, man! Before I came here, I thought Yes Minister was a comedy! But hey, you know, at least he didn't make us do that credits thing. Whew, man, that would have been bad." "Judge Clive. A Hat Trick Production for Channel Four, in association with The Improv Court." "Next week on Judge Clive: Tony Slattery returns to sue Debi Durst for her fashion sense. Then, Dan Patterson takes on Kwik Witz, sues for defamation of the improvisation genre." (... to be continued?) Mark (feeling creative) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Jenna who feels sick: Hey Dean! Do you happen to know why channel three has happened to take off wliia? They've bloody well replaced it with that stupid Judge Judy programme instead! (n/t) (22-Jun-1999 04:31:23) Mark (feeling creative): Hey! We have our own judge... (22-Jun-1999 12:00:37) Jenna: Thanks for making me laugh, Mark!:):):):) (n/t) (22-Jun-1999 22:41:35) Locknestra: ROTFL! That was really great! I hope to see more in the future! (hint, hint!) (n/t) (23-Jun-1999 13:34:19) Jessie: *LOL* Good one Mark! :) (n/t) (23-Jun-1999 14:58:53) Dean: Re: Hey Dean! etc (22-Jun-1999 17:16:19) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (22-Jun-1999 21:51:34 to 21-Jun-1999 13:14:56) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © ITW Newcorp, Inc. 1997-1999 All rights reserved. [Image] [Image] Whose Board is it, Anyway? Re: Hey Dean! etc Tuesday, 22-Jun-1999 17:16:19 209.78.48.197 writes: I don't think there's any great reason, except low ratings... and they had played almost all the shows I guess. We will see how well Judge Judy goes. maybe as with Married with Children they will have to bring WLIIA back! Dean ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Jenna who feels sick: Hey Dean! Do you happen to know why channel three has happened to take off wliia? They've bloody well replaced it with that stupid Judge Judy programme instead! (n/t) (22-Jun-1999 04:31:23) Mark (feeling creative): Hey! We have our own judge... (22-Jun-1999 12:00:37) Jenna: Thanks for making me laugh, Mark!:):):):) (n/t) (22-Jun-1999 22:41:35) Locknestra: ROTFL! That was really great! I hope to see more in the future! (hint, hint!) (n/t) (23-Jun-1999 13:34:19) Jessie: *LOL* Good one Mark! :) (n/t) (23-Jun-1999 14:58:53) Dean: Re: Hey Dean! etc (22-Jun-1999 17:16:19) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (22-Jun-1999 21:51:34 to 21-Jun-1999 13:14:56) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © ITW Newcorp, Inc. 1997-1999 All rights reserved.