Subject: Messageboard Date: Sat, 11 Sep 1999 02:25:27 +1000 From: Mark Longmuir To: Mark Longmuir Sam, finder of articles: Why do I want to hug Clive after reading this article? (It's a long article...sorry) (01-Sep-1999 14:28:03) Dana2: Wow Sam thanx for posting that!! Tired after all the writing?? *Gives him glass of water* (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 14:46:18) Jessie: Psst ... Dana ... (01-Sep-1999 16:02:42) Serena: One thing about Jessie, Dana, don't trust her!! :::giggling::: And oh yeah {{{{{{{Clive}}}}}}} LOVE THAT MAN!!!! Thanks SamANTHA!!! (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 16:45:12) Jessie: *sniff* I'm crushed ... for that I might have to start stalking stronger ... ;) (btw, do you ever use AIM anymore??) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:05:16) Matt, another finder of articles: Another little interview with Clive. :) (01-Sep-1999 15:29:34) Dana2: *LOL* @ Jessie's post (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:03:24) Steph: An egg wearing a wig! Good way to put it, anyway. (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 18:10:10) Renee: ADORABLE PICTURE OF CLIVE......(eom) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 20:41:16) Lint: Clive ROCKS!!! Woo-hoo! (n/t) (03-Sep-1999 03:16:23) -- Mark Longmuir - longmuir@labyrinth.net.au Homepage: http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~longmuir/ Whose Line is it Anyway? - http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Lot/8451 "Stop tap dancing, you fool!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Inside The Web] [Image] [Get FREE Message Board] [Image] Whose Board is it Anyway? Why do I want to hug Clive after reading this article? (It's a long article...sorry) Wednesday, 01-Sep-1999 14:28:03 207.216.68.235 writes: From today's (Sept. 1st)Telegraph I am not the dominant sort. . . Clive Anderson might have a fearsome reputation onscreen, says Jan Moir, but at home he does what he's told CLIVE ANDERSON is renowned for his combative questions. Our meeting begins with a rather more gentle inquiry, but it unseats him nevertheless. "Would you like a glass of water?" I ask, innocently. "Water?" he gasps, looking terrified. "Water?" His eyes swivel for the exit. "Ahhh, um, that's very kind. Sparkling would be lovely, yes, yes, yes." So, politely, I walk around the table to pour some into his glass. "But you're taking over," he squeaks. "You're in control!" Does he also want a sandwich? "No. Yes. I do. But . . . but . . . am I going to splurge the filling all over myself while you just sit there?" he protests. What on earth is his problem? For someone who earns a living as a chat show host, Anderson appears to be extravagantly nervous at being interviewed himself - or maybe he's just one of life's natural agonisers. I had always imagined that his skittering, fidgety television persona was an act - he is still, after all, a barrister - but it would seem that the Anderson we see on the small screen is almost the real deal. "Um, yes and no," he says. "Right at the beginning, I made a conscious decision that it was more interesting to show my nerves and excitement. I would love to be like Desmond Lynam or Michael Aspel - never a hair flicking out of place, no sweat forming on the brow, no twitching around . . ." He twitches in his seat a little more. "But I am just not like that. I watch myself and think: 'Oh, just shut up and slow down'." When Anderson began his chat shows in the late Eighties, the intention was to parody the established format by roughing up the guests and making jokes at their expense. Back then, he was minority viewing, with all the big guests, smooth manners and mega-ratings belonging to rivals such as Terry Wogan, Jonathan Ross and Aspel. One by one, they bit the dust, with the exception of Des O'Connor, leaving Anderson as a rather more important and mainstream figure than he ever planned. He remains the unlikeliest of television hosts - he looks like an egg wearing a wig - but, thankfully, he still refuses to treat his guests too seriously. So perhaps his anxiety today stems from a fear that the tables will be turned, and I will be as impudent to him as he has been to his victims, such as Jeffrey Archer ("Is there no beginning to your talent?"), Richard Branson (who got so fed up, he poured a glass of water over Anderson's head) and the Bee Gees (they walked off the set shortly after revealing that they were once called Les Tosseurs. "I don't know why you changed the name," Anderson told them, "because you will always be Tosseurs to me.") He now claims - unconvincingly - that he did not mean to embarrass the pop group and that the incident will haunt him for the rest of his broadcasting career. "Oh dear, yes. The Bee Gees are going to be my equivalent of Michael Parkinson and Emu." Nevertheless, our Clive - still looking as though I might suddenly whip a pair of pliers out of my handbag - has nothing to fear from me. I'm on his side. At least we discovered something interesting and important about the Gibb brothers - they have no sense of humour. And, apart from the fact that his show is essentially a comedy programme, I'd far rather watch a terrier such as Anderson nipping the egos of his starry guests than an old ham being reverential. However, he is the first to admit that his aggressive, jittery style of presenting can be irritating. "I sometimes see now what people mean about me being annoying. There were times when I was making too many gags, instead of listening to my guests, and I think - I might be wrong here - that I do less of that now," he claims. Oh, rubbish, I say. You've been trotting out that excuse for years, but you're always exactly the same . . . "Oh, have I? Heh heh. Have I been saying it for years?" he giggles for a bit, and then looks down at his raggedy fingernails. "God, I am pathetic," he barks suddenly. We meet in the offices of the production company Hat Trick - which also makes Have I Got News For You - near the vegetable market in Soho. Anderson once remarked that it was the ideal spot in which to locate a television company - close to "advertising, prostitutes and rotting fruit". Despite his reign here, he has never given up on his career as a barrister - he practised for 14 years and his name is still posted outside his chambers in Middle Temple. There was a spell during which he was both practising law and appearing on television. This, he says, did not seem to bother any of his clients. "They are so wrapped up in what is happening to them and I am wrapped up in a wig and a gown," he says. Was he a good barrister? "I was all right. I felt pretty comfortable. I was reasonably quick on my feet, good at pursuing points. . . but I don't think the world has been deprived of another Geoffrey Robertson because I am doing TV shows," he says. He loves meeting "big stars" and concedes that although a barrister's life is "very jolly", you don't get "invited to film premieres and the like". Nevertheless, he mentions that there were some goals in the law that he did not achieve, and takes great pains to explain the complicated process by which promotions are won at the Bar. There is a hint of ambition having been thwarted, so perhaps Anderson was never taken quite as seriously as he secretly takes himself. Someone with his competitive nature - he doesn't just want to outwit his guests, he is determined to get the last word in any situation - must have felt the need to search elsewhere for approbation. And yet he looks around the boardroom in which we are having lunch as though he still can't quite believe he is here. "I always think," he says, "that my television career might end tomorrow." It is a rather British tendency - particularly among the upper classes - to hide one's cleverness behind a twittering mask of waffle and insecurity. But Anderson, despite appearances to the contrary, came from an unassuming background in suburbia. He grew up in Stanmore - on the northernmost fringe of London - the son of a Scottish Presbyterian bank manager. His mother died a few years ago, an event that affected him deeply. "These kinds of events touch things that are beyond conscious control. The birth of a child, the loss of a relative - you cannot comprehend these things until you have experienced them," he says. His parents were ambitious for Clive; he had private elocution lessons, attended church regularly and was a serious child, always willing to see the adult point of view. "I understood why rules were there," he says, primly. "I was never a wild child clubber or raver; much more likely to go and see a play than visit Madam Go-Go's." After school - he attended the same primary and grammar schools as Michael Portillo and the two remain friends - he went up to Cambridge to study law and gradually became "more and more riotous". He joined Footlights, did stand-up comedy and enjoyed making audiences laugh. Even today, he enjoys the company of "witty, funny people" - among them, Griff Rhys Jones and Angus Deayton - and clearly takes great pride in his own ability to wisecrack with the best of them. In fact - and this is, perhaps, the essence of his character - Anderson regards clever banter as a kind of competitive sport. "It is like playing tennis with someone: you are forever trying to win the next point," he says, with some enthusiasm. "And you want the players to be at roughly the same level, otherwise it is boring. You want them to get the ball back over the net because you have booked the court for a bit of fun." You do this when you go to parties? "Of course!" he says. What, you and Griff and Angus feverishly trading quips for hours on end? That sounds ghastly. "Oh, you have trapped me into saying what an awful person I am," he says, with a rather superior chuckle. "All I am saying is that I am not one of these stereotypical gloomy comedians who never raises a laugh or ventures a joke in real life." Does your wife think you are funny? "I suppose she must do, but she can contain her laughter. She sometimes has to laugh inwardly. She is a much more serious person than me." Anderson has joked before that should his wife, Jane - a consultant specialising in Aids - ever want to divorce him, the grounds for unreasonable behaviour are already there: "Tiresome witticisms, smart-aleck comments and constant irritation over many years," he says. He claims - and it is somehow easy to believe - that, at home, he is a dutiful and obedient husband. "I say I want to do something, Jane and I have our little discussion and, in the end, I do what I am told," he says. Clive, Jane and their three children have just flown back from holiday in the Western Highlands of Scotland, where they have a farmhouse. Anderson's sunburnt head and stout walking shoes attest to the good time had by all. "I go madly Highland when I get there," he says. He took great delight in feeding his children local delicacies, such as Scotch pies - pretending they had no meat in them - and attending shinty games. It is difficult to imagine boisterous, barking Anderson as a family man, but he is regularly to be seen treating the kids to Saturday lunch in his local branch of Pizza Express, queueing up for the salads and garlic bread - and quietly obeying wifely instructions. "I'm not a dominating sort of person," he says. "But then again, I'm no shrinking violet." He takes another sip of water and a fresh bead of sweat plops forth on his chin. Clive Anderson All Talk begins tomorrow on BBC1 at 10.40pm. [Image] Sam, finder of articles ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Sam, finder of articles: Why do I want to hug Clive after reading this article? (It's a long article...sorry) (01-Sep-1999 14:28:03) Dana2: Wow Sam thanx for posting that!! Tired after all the writing?? *Gives him glass of water* (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 14:46:18) Jessie: Psst ... Dana ... (01-Sep-1999 16:02:42) Serena: One thing about Jessie, Dana, don't trust her!! :::giggling::: And oh yeah {{{{{{{Clive}}}}}}} LOVE THAT MAN!!!! Thanks SamANTHA!!! (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 16:45:12) Jessie: *sniff* I'm crushed ... for that I might have to start stalking stronger ... ;) (btw, do you ever use AIM anymore??) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:05:16) Matt, another finder of articles: Another little interview with Clive. :) (01-Sep-1999 15:29:34) Dana2: *LOL* @ Jessie's post (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:03:24) Steph: An egg wearing a wig! Good way to put it, anyway. (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 18:10:10) Renee: ADORABLE PICTURE OF CLIVE......(eom) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 20:41:16) Lint: Clive ROCKS!!! Woo-hoo! (n/t) (03-Sep-1999 03:16:23) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (02-Sep-1999 02:51:36 to 31-Aug-1999 12:49:59) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: [Get them to Buy It!] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © Looksmart, Ltd., 1997-1999 All rights reserved. [Image] [Inside The Web] [Image] [Get FREE Message Board] [Image] Whose Board is it Anyway? Psst ... Dana ... Wednesday, 01-Sep-1999 16:02:42 131.104.100.162 writes: Umm ... Sam is short for Samantha ... umm, lemme try to put the image in ... hmm ... [Image] Now, I'd say that's proof enough that she's not a guy ... (damn you! necklace! eyeshadow! damn you Sam! hehehe sorry, had to insert inside joke for that picture) And if the image didn't work ... just trust me on it ... Sammmmm ... I think Taylor's been talking to people again ;) *DUCKS* Jessie ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Sam, finder of articles: Why do I want to hug Clive after reading this article? (It's a long article...sorry) (01-Sep-1999 14:28:03) Dana2: Wow Sam thanx for posting that!! Tired after all the writing?? *Gives him glass of water* (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 14:46:18) Jessie: Psst ... Dana ... (01-Sep-1999 16:02:42) Serena: One thing about Jessie, Dana, don't trust her!! :::giggling::: And oh yeah {{{{{{{Clive}}}}}}} LOVE THAT MAN!!!! Thanks SamANTHA!!! (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 16:45:12) Jessie: *sniff* I'm crushed ... for that I might have to start stalking stronger ... ;) (btw, do you ever use AIM anymore??) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:05:16) Matt, another finder of articles: Another little interview with Clive. :) (01-Sep-1999 15:29:34) Dana2: *LOL* @ Jessie's post (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:03:24) Steph: An egg wearing a wig! Good way to put it, anyway. (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 18:10:10) Renee: ADORABLE PICTURE OF CLIVE......(eom) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 20:41:16) Lint: Clive ROCKS!!! Woo-hoo! (n/t) (03-Sep-1999 03:16:23) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (02-Sep-1999 02:51:36 to 31-Aug-1999 12:49:59) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: [Get them to Buy It!] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © Looksmart, Ltd., 1997-1999 All rights reserved. [Inside The Web] [Image] [Get FREE Message Board] [Image] Whose Board is it Anyway? Another little interview with Clive. :) Wednesday, 01-Sep-1999 15:29:34 195.92.194.78 writes: This is from the 2-8 September edition of "Heat" magazine. (B - Boyd, C - Clive) CLIVE AND DIRECT Clive Anderson discusses the new run of his star-studded chat show with Boyd Hilton. Just don't expect a return appearance from the Bee Gees... B: Is it difficult to put together a decent chat show these days when the big Hollywood stars only want to discuss their new product? C: The point I try to make through intermediaries is that if I'd like to be able to ask anything, and that if I do ask "who was the father of your child?" and they say "I don't want to talk about it" that's fine. I'd rather that happened than it being agreed beforehand that if I don't ask the questions about the boob job and the drink problem. It has to be as real as possible. And contrary to some impressions, guests do often have a good time on my show! He says, boasting rather lamely... B: Are there any celebs you wanted who refused to be on? C: Normally it's not a bare-faced refusal and we get seemingly genuine excuses. Last year I really wanted Woody Allen, but he only came to London two weeks after we finished the series. And Warren Beatty was lined up to do the London Film Festival and we had him booked to do the show, but he had a Hollywood reason to put back his trip. And in the fullness of time, perhaps when he's running for President, I might forgive him... B: Do you watch the satirical chat shows like Larry Sanders and Alan Partridge and recognise aspects of yourself? C: I love Larry Sanders, but when I first watched it I thought, this is fantastic but who's going to be interested apart from those of us who produce chat shows? But I suppose people caught on. I also like Mrs Merton and Alan Partridge but I don't know if any of their satirical shafts are aimed in my direction. It would be funny if they were. I suppose I'm a bit like a politician who gets drawn by a cartoonist with his face shaped like a penis, and then makes a call asking for a copy for the downstairs lavatory. B: Why do you give politicians a harder time than showbiz stars? C: Largely because there's more meat to a political discussion and normally they don't mind if I ask tough questions. A few years ago, for example, Charles Kennedy came on when he was just a bright, young politician and my first question was "The Liberal Democrats: what's the point?" but last year he came on again and I didn't know how to beat that. As it happened, he remembered the first appearance and said how flummoxed he had been. Of course as a direct result of being on my show he's now been elected leader of the Party... B: The Bee Gees storming off - did you understand what was going on? C: No it was a big shock, really, because I thought we were having a jolly interview with a bit of banter and few jokes and it was going quite well. I think it might have happened because there were three of them, and each one of them had too much time to ponder what I had just asked and started getting annoyed while the other were busy answering other questions. But I wasn't trying to give them a hard time. I thought I was being quite cheery. Of course these moments when things go hideously wrong are what people love and remember. I mean I did a very good interview with Ronan Keating and he was polite and interesting and stayed throughout the whole thing. But no-one ever asks me about that. Matt, another finder of articles ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Message thread: Sam, finder of articles: Why do I want to hug Clive after reading this article? (It's a long article...sorry) (01-Sep-1999 14:28:03) Dana2: Wow Sam thanx for posting that!! Tired after all the writing?? *Gives him glass of water* (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 14:46:18) Jessie: Psst ... Dana ... (01-Sep-1999 16:02:42) Serena: One thing about Jessie, Dana, don't trust her!! :::giggling::: And oh yeah {{{{{{{Clive}}}}}}} LOVE THAT MAN!!!! Thanks SamANTHA!!! (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 16:45:12) Jessie: *sniff* I'm crushed ... for that I might have to start stalking stronger ... ;) (btw, do you ever use AIM anymore??) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:05:16) Matt, another finder of articles: Another little interview with Clive. :) (01-Sep-1999 15:29:34) Dana2: *LOL* @ Jessie's post (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 17:03:24) Steph: An egg wearing a wig! Good way to put it, anyway. (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 18:10:10) Renee: ADORABLE PICTURE OF CLIVE......(eom) (n/t) (01-Sep-1999 20:41:16) Lint: Clive ROCKS!!! Woo-hoo! (n/t) (03-Sep-1999 03:16:23) Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prev Page Next Page Now viewing page 4 of 4 (02-Sep-1999 02:51:36 to 31-Aug-1999 12:49:59) [Image] Message subject: Name: (optional) Email address: (optional) Type your message here: [Get them to Buy It!] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Back to main board ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright © Looksmart, Ltd., 1997-1999 All rights reserved.