From the sanctuary of my room I can hear the chatter drifting up from below.  The words are indistinguishable, but the voices I can recognize through long familiarity.  One in particular holds my attention, and I am mesmerized by its lilting tones as he contributes to the general hum of conversation.

I've known him all my life.

He's always been there, just as though he was family.  I called him 'Niisan', then.  I call him nothing now.  I don't dare.

I can't face him any more.  I can't go out there and act as though everything is still as it was when I was a child.

No.  That's wrong.  Everything is still the same - everything except my wretched body.

I've finally grown up; but he hasn't noticed.  I'm still a little girl to him, a little sister, not a young woman.  I'll never be someone he sees as desirable, someone whom he might be able to love.

I should have realized that years ago.  I did, in a way.  I just didn't want it to be true.  I hoped that I would grow faster and faster, enough to catch up to him, or that time would hold him in a bubble, just waiting for me to touch it and release him.

I hoped that he would be waiting for me.

I was wrong.

It was a childish hope.  A childish dream.

It was all I had.  Now there is nothing.  Nothing at all.

He'll never be mine.

I want to deny the thought as soon as it crosses my mind, but I know it's far too late.  My sensitive ears all too easily pick out the inane babbling of his soon-to-be fiancée.

I'm not supposed to know about it, but I overheard him talking with my brother earlier today - talking about love, talking about commitment.  He was asking Niichan how it felt to truly be in love.  Nichaan's answer was about as unromantic as a brick, but it was true enough.

"You feel like you've just walked into a pole," Niichan had said.  "Your head's spinning, you're totally confused, and you see their face absolutely everywhere.  You trail around after them like a dog panting after its owner, and you obey their every whim in the hope that they'll scratch that itch that you can never quite reach."

He'd laughed at that.  But Niichan was right.  And I'm the bitch trailing at his heels, unnoticed, and unwanted.

So here I am, curled up on my bed, fighting back the tears that threaten to burst forth from the dam I have built with my hopes and wishes.

I've known him all my life.  I've loved him all my life.

But he'll never love me.

I could never love her.  I see that now as plain as day.  She just isn't the one for me.  They never are.

I turn away from her to watch Marron as she passes little Amande over to Trunks.  I struggle not to laugh.  He always looks scared to death that he might break her whenever he touches her.  At least at first.  Then he smiles at her like she's the most beautiful baby in the world.  And she smiles back, gurgling in delight.

I have to look away at that.  It makes my stomach clench whenever I see that look in his eyes, that look he saves for his wife and daughter alone, that look which they return.  I see those blue eyes everywhere I look, but the love they hold in their depths is never for me.  It galls me to admit it, but I'm jealous.  I want to have someone I can look at like that, someone who will look at me in that same manner.  I want to love someone who loves me, as much as Trunks and Marron love each other.  But it seems so impossible.

Trunks and Marron were lucky to have found each other, lucky to have realized how perfectly they complimented each other.  Even if it did take Bra, Pan and I several months to make them see it.  I don't think I'll ever be as fortunate.  I'll be haunted by blue eyes forever...

"Goten?"

I turn as she touches my shoulder, but shrug away when she tries to wrap her arms around my waist.

"Goten?  Is something wrong?"

I don't know how to answer.  Her face falls a little, however.  My silence must have been enough.

"Oh," she says, so calmly that I think she must have misunderstood.  She hasn't, though.  "Maybe I'd better leave now."

"You don't have to - " I start to say.  She is a friend, after all.  She'll just never be more than that, not to me.

"It's okay," she smiles.  "I kind of knew this was coming."

I'm too surprised to reply; before I know what's happening she's said her good-byes and is heading towards the door.  I hurry to catch up with her, ignoring the glances I know are being cast in our direction.

"I'll take you home," I offer as we step outside, but she shakes her head.

"It's better this way," she tells me and throws a capsule containing a car to the ground before us, letting it expand.  She hesitates before getting in, leaning close enough to kiss me briefly on the cheek.  "I hope she deserves you, whoever she is," she says softly in my ear.  One more smile, and she's gone.

I stare down the road after her for some time, uncertain of what she meant.  There isn't anyone else.  I'd know, wouldn't I?

I sigh, tilting my head back to stare up at the stars in the evening sky.  One of them slips out of place, falling from the heavens.  I make a wish as it blazes a trail across the darkness.

A wish for blue eyes...

I wonder what he's thinking as he gazes up at the beautiful sky.  His expression is so wistful that it cuts at my already bleeding heart.  I know I shouldn't stay, I should leave before he sees me, but I can't move.  He has me caught in a spell, and he doesn't even know it.

"Bra?"  He's surprised to see me.  I try to smile as he walks towards me, my heart pounding in time with each step he takes.  "Your mother said you weren't feeling well before.  Are you alright now?"

I almost laugh as I shake my head slightly.  "I just came out for some fresh air," I manage to say.  "What about you?"

"Breaking up with yet another girlfriend," he sighs.  I stare at him.

"But I thought - " I burst out before I can stop myself.  I hold my breath, my muscles tense, sure that I am mistaken...

"It just wasn't meant to be."

My heart fills with elation - but then I see how sorrowful he is, and my joy fades in the face of his suffering.   "I'm sorry," I tell him.  "She could have chosen a better time to break it to you..."

He blinks at me, those dark eyes of his revealing his consternation.  "Actually, I broke up with her," he informs me.

"You did?!"  I'm beyond shocked.  After what I'd heard today I was certain that he was head over heels in love with her.  Was I wrong?  I pray to God that it be so...

"Yes I did," he repeats.  "Is that so surprising?  I don't get dumped that often!"

"How would I know?" I speak without thinking.  "You hardly ever come around any more - "

-and talk to me, I finish silently.  I shouldn't have said that.

"Everyone's been so busy lately, what with Amande being born and all..."  He sighs.  "I see you more than I see Trunks, now," he smiles at me.  Niichan has little time to spare now that he has a family as well as his work commitments.  "Which is probably a good thing.  You're a lot prettier than he is."

I blush and laugh, but my heart twists in my chest.  "You think so?" I banter lightly, batting my eyelashes at him as I force myself to smile at him.

He grins back as he brushes one finger over my cheek - then I'm lost in those dark pools that threaten to drown me, all unaware...

"Yes," his voice is husky as he answers a question I can barely recall asking.  I revel in the warmth of his palm as he cradles my cheek in his large hand, oblivious to everything but his touch, his gaze, his voice.

Ever so slowly he leans forward, closer to me until I can feel the heat of his breath against my lips.

"Perhaps," I breathe, ever so softly, hardly believing that I'm saying the words that slip so easily from my tongue, "perhaps you should come around more often..."

His lips brush my own, very lightly at first, then more firmly as we both lean into the kiss.  I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down against me with all my strength, and feel his arms slide the length of my body, coming to rest in the small of my back.

We part breathless, and I gaze dazedly up at him, my blood hot, my heart racing.

A tiny smile graces his lips, and his eyes are bright as the stars above.  "Perhaps I should," he answers my words, words that seem to have been spoke a lifetime ago already.  I smile back at him, then bury my face against the bare skin at his neck, breathing in his delightful scent as I have longed to do for so long.

Here at last, wrapped comfortably in his arms, I'm home.