I am standing by the door, waiting for him, as he enters the workshop that was once his mother's, and is now his.

He glares at me, blue eyes unwavering despite the danger he is in.

So like his mother.  So like me.  And yet so different.

Where she and I would never give up until we had achieved whatever task we had been told was impossible - he does not even begin to try.  He refuses to press beyond his present abilities to improve himself.

It's not that he cannot do so.  I have seen him do so when he was younger, and his future self also.  But that was when his mother was still alive.  Can mothers make such a difference to human children?

Bulma.

If anyone had told me twenty years ago that I would fall in love with a member of such a pitifully weak race I would have laughed at them.  And then killed them for the insult.

Bulma wasn't weak, however.  At least, not spiritually.  She had a strength of will that I believe may even have surpassed my own in some ways.  But she could not will her body to live, to recover from that heart attack.  This time there was no miraculous pill from the future.  Her life was lost, and with it most of my reasons to live.

Not that I ever had many to start with, not after Vegetasei was destroyed and Freeza broke faith with us.  I only really ever had two - to defeat Kakarotto and to live with Bulma.  Defeating Kakarotto was a monumental task, despite his idiotic ways, and one I never completed.  Living with Bulma was a challenge of the same magnitude - but one I had to face every single day.  Even when I was not physically with her I could feel her influence upon me, slowly molding my habits in spite of my efforts to the contrary.  I was even starting to like it.  And then she died, leaving me with our eight year old son.

I wondered then how Mirai Bulma felt when she lost her Vegeta.  They had only been together a couple of years when he was killed by the cyborgs.  But humans succumb to emotions so easily - did she feel the same agonizing loss as I?  I cannot know.  What I do know is that somehow she and Gohan between them raised her son to be a great warrior.  So why cannot I do the same?  Why do I fail where they succeeded?

Failure is something I am not so accustomed to - which is well and good in battle, but when it comes to my son...

How can someone with Saiyajin blood not be willing to fight?!  Even Gohan, as much as he proclaims his dislike of violence, is willing enough when the need arises - and such power he showed against Cell!  It took me years to achieve the level he did at that young age... and that was only when I lost Bulma.

Though it shames me, I must admit that I lost control when she died - I lost the self-control that I was always so proud of.  I have only vague recollections of what I did then... until I looked into my son's eyes.  I must have seen him many times between Bulma's death and that day; but on that one occasion he reminded me so much of her - and of all that I had lost.  I left him with Gohan, and went to my place, where I knew I would not be disturbed.  Then, for a second time, I gave into my emotions.

The result astounded and exhausted me.  My only wish at that time was that Kakarotto should be alive so that I could defeat him once and for all.  I only realized later that this was Bulma's parting gift to me, that I might see the potential not only in myself, but also in our son.

For like Gohan, he too is a half-blood, and has achieved such power already: I have observed him in Super Saiyajin mode - and at a younger age even than Gohan, as befits his higher birth.  But he is even less willing than Kakarotto's peace-loving son to use it.

What could have made him give up the joys of power and combat?  I cannot but think that Goten is the reason, for only he besides myself has such influence over my willful son.  Kakrotto's second child must have corrupted my son with his sickly sweet nature and his brother's gentle ways.  This would be bad enough for any Saiyajin - but especially horrendous for one of the royal family.

I should have named him Vegeta at birth as my father and his before him were named.  Perhaps then he would have realized the responsibility he carries on his shoulders, and not only lived up to but surpassed my expectations - as his future self did.

But I did not.  I did not believe that the intermingling of Saiyajin blood with human could produce warriors worthy of their Saiyajin heritage.  Gohan proved me wrong.  I have come to respect him for that, much as I respect his father.  For though Kakarotto was fully Saiyajin in body he was raised as a human, with the heart and mind of one.

What the humans could achieve if only they had the power to back them up...  Well, some of them, anyway.  That pathetic ex-boyfriend of Bulma's is definitely not included in that group.

Imagine, him telling me how to raise my son.  The mere thought of it is intolerable.  Of course, I didn't mean to kill him over it... but humans can be  so fragile.  He is luckier than he deserves anyway, and I was foolish for losing my temper.  Now he is with her, probably disparaging me to her ears right at this moment.

But she will not listen to him: she knows me better than that.  She always has.  She knows I care for our son, just as I cared for her.  He is all I have left of her - and I will stop at nothing so that he might be all we should have been, and more.  Even if I have to beat it into his head.  Or, perhaps...

Gohan's power erupted when he lost his father.  When he lost someone he loved.

If I kill Goten...

He will understand someday.  I am doing this all for him, the son who is my world, now.

I return his glare with a blow from the back of my hand.

I love him so much, it hurts.