I've lost my brother.  Not to death, but to something both better and worse.  Death would at least have put a finality on things here in this world without Dragonballs to set things right.  A world without a God.  A world without my little brother.  Goten.

He is lost to me, and to this world - lost in a labyrinth of possibilities, and infinite dimensions.  I doubt that he will ever be able to find his way back home.  That is, if he even wants to.

I should never have tried to kill Trunks.  That one action drove a wedge between Goten and I that can now never be removed.  Goten has always been best friends with Trunks - but he had never been forced to choose between Trunks and his family before.  I found out the hard way that Trunks is more important to him than we are.  Than I am.  But I suppose that Trunks is family to him...

Or perhaps it's just that he needed help.  Goten would never deny help to someone in need, especially not a friend.  He's so much like Tousan was, not just in looks, but in personality also:  normally happy and joyful, but fiercely protective when he must be.  I never thought that I might be on the receiving end of that anger.

He had good reason for being angry, of course.  I suppose it's not every day that your brother tries to kill your best friend.  But I had no other choice!  Too many people had already died in our world - too many of our friends and family...  And just one death could have stopped it all.

Trunks was insane.  It's as simple as that.  Any insane person is quite capable of being a threat to society.  An insane Super Saiyajin is a threat to the universe.  We tried to talk to him.  He wouldn't, or maybe couldn't, listen.  And containing a Super Saiyajin for the entire span of his life...  It would not be possible.  Only Goten and I could possibly have held him back from wreaking havoc on our world - but there were only two of us.  We would not have been able to stop him forever.  So that left only one option...

One life for many.  Numerically an easy decision to make, but emotionally...  And I chose to save the many.  Goten chose the one.  I wonder now what Tousan would have done.  He was never one to give up on anything, or anyone.  He could always see a possibility of redemption...  Is that what Goten saw when he looked into Trunks' eyes?

I will never know.  They will never be able to come back here, whether they want to or not - and I fear that second possibility most of all.  Was what I did enough to make Goten hate me?  I didn't think it would be at the time.  I thought that in time he would come to understand that it would be better that way - for us, for our world, and for Trunks.  But does Goten understand that?  Could he ever understand?  I don't know.  I will never know.

I can only hope that somewhere out there amidst those countless dimensions, my brother is safe and happy.  I pray that he is justified in his belief that he can recall Trunks from the madness which has claimed his mind.  I pray that he will forgive me for not trying as hard as he has.

I pray that he - that they - will come home safely.

But I know they never will.