As the Other Half Lives - 4


The devastation was immense.  Where JOSH-A had once stood, a near perfect crater now dominated the landscape, within which nothing moved. 

On the bridge of the Archangel, no one had spoken since the explosion.  Most of the people present either stared mesmerised by the destruction, or held their faces downcast in mingled relief and despair.  Athrun could only gaze helplessly at the blast zone, trying not to calculate how many soldiers ZAFT must have lost.  Behind him he heard Dearka punching the wall.

"Captain?"  The crewman flinched as everyone turned to stare at him.  "Uh, the Duel is hailing us."

Captain Ramius blinked, then nodded, and the monitor flared to life.

"Thank you for your assistance," the captain spoke as soon as the connection was made.  "I know you didn't do it for us, but... Thank you, anyway."

Yzak glared at her for a moment through narrow blue eyes, then nodded acknowledgement ever so slightly.  "I'd like to speak with Dearka and Athrun," he declared in tones just short of a command.

"They're present," Captain Ramius responded evenly.  "Say what you will."

His eyes narrowed even further at that, but Yzak didn't argue.  That the Earth Alliance Captain would permit such contact was sufficient concession.  Athrun stepped forward once again, Dearka moving to join him.  "You're both all right."  It wasn't exactly a question.

"Yeah, we're fine."

"Thanks, Yzak, for everything," Athrun added sincerely.

The silver haired pilot snorted at that.  "Your status?"

"Oh, I'd say we're still prisoners of war until further notice," Dearka replied, eyeing the gun that La Flaga was pointedly aiming at them.  "But don't worry about us.  I mean, the food's pretty crap, but the service has been excellent, all things considered."  His glance drifted to where Miriallia was seated. 

"Dearka," Athrun warned. 

The blond grinned unrepentantly.

Yzak rolled his eyes.  "Idiot.  And the Strike?"

"Destroyed."  Athrun turned his head, not wanting to look at the satisfied smile that lit Yzak's face.  Around him he could hear several angry murmurs coming from the Archangel's crew. 

"Lay off, Yzak," Dearka ordered before the Duel's pilot could say another word.  "Think about where we are, would you?  Also - the Strike's pilot was a close friend of his." 

"A friend?!  What kind of friend - "

"Yzak!"

Amazingly, he complied, shutting his mouth on the harsh words with obvious effort.  When he spoke again, it was in far more controlled tones. 

"So that was why you never fought seriously against the Strike."

Athrun didn't answer, keeping his eyes directed at Birdy, who had once again settled on his shoulder and was listening to the conversation as attentively as the crew of the Archangel.

"That bird..." Those blue eyes were still relentlessly accusing, the vivid scar across his face only accentuating the expression.  "It's the one from Morgenroete, in Orb."

"Yes," Athrun acknowledged, ignoring the whispers of the crew behind him.  "I made it for Kira, when we were younger."

"Then, that was him," Dearka realised.  "The guy at the fence."

"Yeah."  A hand resting on his shoulder caused Athrun to look up, but Dearka's sober gaze offered sympathy he didn't feel he deserved.  The younger pilot shook his head, and refocussed his attention to yet another matter that seriously disturbed him.  "Yzak, did Commander Le Creuset sortie during the attack?"

"Yes," came the answer, Yzak's expression suspicious as his eyes flickered to the Archangel's captain sitting silently beside them, "but he'd returned from the base shortly before you contacted me.  He wasn't planning on going out again.  He wouldn't have been caught in that blast."

Athrun and Dearka looked at each other.

"Are you sure?" Dearka asked, not wanting to believe the picture that was forming.  "That he'd been in the base, I mean?"

"Of course I'm sure!" Yzak scowled.  "What's this about?"

"And he didn't say anything about the Cyclops System?" Athrun pressed.

"Why would he - " Yzak broke off and stared at them, wide-eyed.  "That's crazy!  You're saying he knew and didn't - I can't believe that!"

"Doesn't make it any less true," La Flaga interjected from behind them.  He escaped Yzak's furious glare only by virtue of being out of his line of sight.

"You'd believe the enemy rather than our own commander?" he directed his indignation against his two teammates instead.  "Traitors!"

"Commander La Flaga did save all our lives just now," Athrun pointed out sharply, "by telling us about the Cyclops System.  It's not like we want it to be true.  It doesn't make any sense at all, and yet... "

"Actually, it does if you look at it from this perspective," La Flaga spoke in slow realisation, moving closer to stand by the captain's side.  "What do you think the reaction is going to be like in the PLANTs when they hear about this disaster?"

"They'll want to retaliate in kind," the captain answered him softly.  On the screen, Yzak scowled once again.  Athrun closed his eyes and bowed his head.  He could picture his father's reaction only too well.

"So Commander Le Creuset is single-handedly responsible for escalating this war, is that what you're trying to say?" Yzak sneered at the blond Natural. 

Athrun's stomach was slowly twisting itself into knots as his mind, prompted by Yzak's words, churned over the sickening possibility.  The Earth Alliance command had been willing to make a considerable sacrifice to ensnare ZAFT's forces in their trap.  Could Commander Le Creuset truly have been willing to make an even greater sacrifice to justify increasingly drastic military action?

He stared blindly up at the image of Yzak on the screen.  "Why was target changed to JOSH-A at such a late stage?" he asked aloud, drawing the focus of attention.

"What do you mean?"

"It would have taken some time to set up a Cyclops System of that magnitude," he said, turning to look Commander La Flaga in the eye.  "How long has it been there?"

"Huh," the man grunted.  "Good question."  He gazed at him in consideration for a moment before answering.  "It's not exactly standard practise, and I doubt they could have kept something like that quiet for too long."

Athrun clenched his fists, while Yzak hissed out a curse.  "And Panama?"

The Earth officer only quirked an eyebrow at him, his expression that of a teacher waiting for a student to produce their own answer. 

The three ZAFT pilots looked at one another.  None of them particularly wanted to examine aloud the possible weaknesses of ZAFT in front of an Earth Alliance crew, but it was becoming increasingly suspect that someone in ZAFT was either leaking critical information to the Earth Alliance, or were susceptible to misinformation from the same.  Someone high-ranking, influential, and well-trusted.  Le Creuset fit the description well, and given the current situation was the obvious object of those suspicions; but he wasn't alone. 

There was really only one group of people who held such responsibility regarding ZAFT, and who had the authority to determine the target of such an intensive assault.  Le Creuset could possibly sway them one way or another, but the decision to act would have been theirs and theirs alone.

"The Committee..."

It was all he had to say.  Dearka's head shot up, his jaw clenched.  Yzak's eyes widened momentarily before returning to their usual burning cold glare.  They both knew which committee he meant: the Defense Committee, headed by his father.  Yzak's mother and Nicol's father were also members, and thus subject to suspicion. 

"There's no way my mother would be involved in anything like that!" Yzak snapped, immediately moving for offence as the best defence.

Athrun had to struggle not to wince.  He was actually fairly certain that Yzak was correct, as he'd seen mother and son interact - and Ezaria Joule was as devoted to her son as he was to her.  She would not willingly send him to almost certain death.  Nor would he have believed Nicol's father to be susceptible either - unless the death of his son had embittered him as much as Athrun's mother's death had altered his father.  In truth, Athrun's deepest doubts were regarding his own father.

"Well then, that leaves us with the Commander, Chairman Zala and the hand of fate," Dearka responded caustically.  Yzak was not amused.

"What the hell has happened to you two?" he demanded irately.  "Has being captured by the enemy killed off what little intelligence you had to begin with?  I refuse to believe that our commanders would be as callously calculating as the Earth Alliance!  That the two of you could even consider such a possibility goes against every pledge we swore the day we joined ZAFT!"

"That's not - " 

"You swore those oaths the same day I did, Athrun, for the same reasons!  Have you forgotten already?  Is it Nicol's death that's left you so pathetic?  Or your so-called friend's?" he practically spat out the term.  "This is a war, soldiers die - get over it!  Pointing fingers when your information comes from someone who shouldn't be trusted is the behaviour of a child!  Of course, that's really just what you are, isn't it?  A whimpering child who shouldn't be out on the battlefield!" Yzak sneered vituperatively. 

Athrun could only grit his teeth and bear the accusations in grim silence.  He'd struck a nerve by bringing up Yzak's mother, even obliquely.  There was no way the other would listen to him now. 

"I'm not listening to any more of this crap!" the Duel's pilot declared at last.  "Until you come to your senses I have nothing more to say to either of you!  So you can just rot on that blasted ship for the rest of your lives, for all I care!"

"Wait, Yzak!" Dearka protested as the other reached to cut off the transmission.

"Yzak!" Athrun cried out at the same time. 

Blue eyes blazed at them.  "What?!"

"Just - " Athrun grimaced.  Beside him, Dearka was similarly at a loss for words.  There was little that either of them could say that would make a difference now.  "Be careful."

The screen went dead.

"Excitable fellow, isn't he?" La Flaga commented.  Athrun sighed, watching dispiritedly as the Duel took off from nearby, flashing away on its Guul.

"As fascinating as that little discussion was," the commander continued, "we have more immediate problems of our own.  Like just what do we do now?  Where do we go?"

"Shouldn't we head for Panama?  Join up with the forces there?"

"Oh yeah, like they'd be happy to see us."

Athrun listened quietly as the Archangel's crew debated their options.  He hadn't missed the fact that the commander had lowered his gun.  From the nudge Dearka gave him, the other ZAFT soldier hadn't missed it either.  It would be so easy to disarm him, take a hostage, and head for the hanger.  From what La Flaga had said earlier about launching, there had to be at least one plane down there in working condition, and yet...

He flicked his gaze up to meet Dearka's, and shook his head ever so slightly.  The older boy's expression turned fleetingly incredulous, then settled into resignation. 

Next to them, the discussion regarding the Archangel's future was going nowhere fast.  Repressing a sigh at the uncertainty surrounding all their fates, Athrun began to move slowly toward the door.

"Hold it!" Captain Ramius ordered, and Athrun complied, turning to face her.  "Just where do you think you're going?"

"Back to my cell," he answered simply.  Both the captain and commander blinked bemusedly at him.

Dearka groaned.  "You're actually serious, aren't you?"

Athrun shrugged, the motion earning him a protesting cry from Birdy as it flapped its wings for balance.  "I need to think."

"You think too much," came the grumbled retort, but the blond nevertheless moved to stand next to him.  "So do we get an escort or what?" he queried the Earth officers.  The pair exchanged a long glance.

"I'll go," Miriallia announced, surprising both the ZAFT soldiers and the rest of the Archangel's crew.

"But, Mir - " 

"I'll be fine, Sai."

"Thank you, Crewman Haw," said Captain Ramius.  La Flaga offered her his gun as she walked past him, but she turned it down.

"That won't be necessary, Commander," she informed him.  "Will it?"

"Huh?" Dearka blinked, becoming rather flustered when her flat gaze was directed at him.  "No!  Of course not!"

Her gaze turned to Athrun, and he met it steadily for a moment before bowing formally.  La Flaga raised his eyebrows at that, but Miriallia simply nodded.

"We should probably check on those guys we knocked out first," he commented after rising.

"Lead the way," she ordered.  They both moved promptly to obey.  "And if they're still unconscious, you're carrying them to sick bay." 

"I knew you were going to say that," Dearka sighed as they left the bridge.

In the end they only had to carry one of them to the infirmary, whereupon they discovered the other had already made it there by his own efforts.  After narrowly avoiding a brawl, they retreated to the relative quiet of the brig without encountering any further incidents.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Dearka muttered as he walked into the cell opposite his old one at Miriallia's direction.  Athrun was already sitting cross-legged on the floor of the cell next door, Birdy hopping around in front of him.

"Try to stay out of trouble this time," Miriallia told them before leaving them alone again.

The blonde pilot sighed loudly.  "So, care to practice your lock-picking skills again?"

"Not really."

"Athrun."

"Where would we go?"

"Let's see, now...  How about any the ZAFT subs that are scattered all around this area?" came the sardonic response.

Athrun didn't reply.  They sat in silence for several minutes before Dearka voiced his damning conclusion.

"Yzak was right.  You really are turning your back on the PLANTs."

"ZAFT is not the PLANTs!" the younger boy replied astringently.  "ZAFT is supposed to protect the PLANTs - that's why I joined in the first place - but does protecting the PLANTs necessarily mean wiping out everyone who doesn't follow the same ideals?"

"Would you rather sit back and wait for them to wipe us out?" came the equally biting response.  "No matter who started it, this war is escalating, fast.  I don't intend to just wait around until I'm killed - I intend to do something more than simply sitting here in this stupid cell!"

"Could you shoot Miriallia?"

"What?!  What are you saying?"

"She's a Natural, an Earth Alliance soldier, an enemy of ZAFT.  Could you shoot her?"

"I - that's just - "

"I couldn't.  Not now.  Not ever again." 

That was the crux of the matter.  He'd never really wanted to kill Kira, and now that he had he could only feel remorse for his actions. 

"Miriallia is a nice girl.  She doesn't want us harmed, even though there are plenty of reasons why she ought to.  She still cares, even though we've caused her suffering.  I can see why Kira was friends with her.  If they'd met in another time and place, he probably would have been friends with Nicol, too!"  He broke off for a moment as he struggled to regain the control over himself that the thought of his dead friends had shaken.

"It's not just the PLANTs I want to protect, Dearka," he continued after a couple of deep breaths.  "It's people like her, like Kira, and Nicol.  I can't just follow orders blindly anymore, not now that I've seen that the enemy are simply people who are not so very different from us, after all."

The silence lengthened once again, seeming almost interminable until the blond asked one penetrating question. 

"So just what do you intend to do, Athrun?"

Athrun just shook his head, a response the other could not see, but would undoubtedly sense.  He didn't have that answer yet, but Dearka was right about one thing: he could achieve nothing while remaining locked in this cell.  The lock on the door, however, was no barrier at all compared to the cloud of uncertainty that shrouded his heart and mind.




April '06
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