It's strange, sitting up here, hidden amongst the multitude of faces in the stadium.  The spectators.  Just watching, waiting for the match to start...

A match that could have been mine to fight.

I can almost feel it, even from way up here - the tension, the anticipation of the people around me is almost as great as I know it is down there, in the main arena of Indigo Plateau, where two trainers prepare to duke it out -

Except I'm not one of them.

I clench my fists tightly, my fingernails digging into my palms.  I'm not one of them.  One loss, that's all it took - and I was out of the game.  Me, Gary Oak, the proud pokemon trainer from Pallet Town - a loser.  Bigtime.

I shut my eyes as the crowd stirs restlessly around me.  Soon, the match will start.  One figure already stands out there on the field, while the other -

"We've reached the official start time, but Ash Ketchum has yet to show!"

- is nowhere to be seen.  Late as usual, Ashy-boy.  Yet your luck still holds.  That Richie kid will wait for you, I can tell.  From what I've seen of him, he's a lot like you. Only he isn't quite so slow on the uptake.  Even now, I can see him arguing on your behalf...

"The officials have agreed to allow time for Ketchum to show up!"

As if they wouldn't.  It's hard to deny someone who can look so earnest.  I should know.

"This had better be a good match," someone grumbles behind me.  "Can't believe the stupid kid can come this far and not show up on time..."

I grit my teeth, biting back a sharp remark - whether for or against Ash I couldn't say.  The whiner gets the hint, though, as I glare at him darkly.

"Of course, he could have a good reason for not being here," the man hastily adds.

Yeah, he could.  And it had better be a damn good reason!  There is no way he would deliberately avoid such an important match - the Ash I know dreams of little else but becoming a Pokemon Master!

I can still remember that first day, when we set out on our journeys.  He was late then, too.  Probably couldn't get to sleep the night before because he was too excited, knowing him.  It's the kind of stupid thing he'd do - and then turn up in his pyjamas, to boot.

I laughed at him for that - although I had to admire someone who would actually risk the humiliation of being seen like that to get his first pokemon.  It showed he had heart, even if he was lacking in the brains department.

Maybe that isn't so important, though.  His heart's so big I guess it kind of makes up for the fact that you have to hit him over the head with a book to get the words to sink in...

Damn it!  What the hell is keeping him?!

This is his big day, his one chance in the spotlight, and he's not here!

He's not here, and I'm not there...  Heh.  We both lose.  No, that's not right.  Ash is far too stubborn to let it slip through his fingers like this.  He never knows when to quit - or perhaps he just always knows when to keep trying...

I thought I knew.  I was - I am good, there's no doubt about that; but I wasn't good enough.  Didn't even make it as far as he did...  That hurt, but what really threw me was seeing his expression when he found out that I'd -

Lost.

I close my eyes once more, ignoring the thrum echoing around the stadium as I lean back in my seat.

It wasn't the first time he'd seen me defeated, either, I recall.  I hadn't really cared what he thought at first - that powerful new pokemon had scared the hell out of me.  I didn't really have time to think, between being flattened then lifted up once more...

Afterwards... it was too late.  I'd lost.  I was no longer the invincible Gary Oak.  He wouldn't look up to me as he had before...

The people are starting to complain, and not just Mr. Whiner behind me.  Why should they have to wait for this kid?  What's so special about him that the rules are bent in his favour?

Why is his opinion so important to me?

I open my eyes to stare at the empty place where Ash should be standing.  It's not hard to picture him there, his hat on backwards, his eyes intent on the pokemon battling before him, that pikachuu of his at his side...

I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I'd been the one who was late that first morning.  I almost was, in fact, which was why I kind of rubbed it in when Ash showed up.  I was just so relieved that I'd made it in time, that I'd been able to choose my pokemon without having to beg a favour of my grandfather...  I wanted to do everything right, from the very start.  Ash seemed to be everything I'd tried so hard to avoid, and yet...

Grandfather had told me about that pikachuu after I'd chosen for myself.  Some idiot had treated the poor thing rather badly, and as a result it shocked just about everybody who came anywhere near it.  I'd known when I met him at the gate that that was the only pokemon Grandfather had left for Ash.  I thought he'd have to be pretty desperate to accept it - which I guess he was - but I knew it would take a miracle for him to get that pikachuu to trust him.

Ash seems to have a knack for miracles.

I wonder what's happened to that little talent of his, that he'd miss out on this match - because he has missed it.  I almost can't believe it, but the officials are making the announcement...

I sigh, lifting my eyes up to the heavens - and I have to laugh.

Figures he'd have to make a grand entrance - but a giant Meowth balloon...?  Damn, must have been those Rocker Rejects or whatever they call themselves.  They must be even more brainless than Ash - but also more persistent.  If he's had to use his pokemon against them already, he could be in trouble for this match...

He is.  He's going to lose.  His pokemon are all exhausted, while Richie's are still fresh.  They put up a good fight, but they can't keep it going - not even his loyal pikachuu.  Two down, with only one pokemon left -

I have to pity Charmander, being faced with Charizard.  It's completely outclassed, and the poor thing knows it.  Now it's one apiece -

Typical.  His Charizard won't obey.  Richie's pikachuu wouldn't have stood a chance if Charizard had actually fought, but as it is...

Ash's dream is over.

I want to kick those Rocketeers to Viridian City and back for interfering, but it wouldn't make a difference now.  The match is decided, in Richie's favour.  Ash has lost.

Just like me.

I watch him as he stands there silently, his head bowed.  Welcome to the losers' club, I picture myself saying to him.  We can all despise each other for being so weak -

I blink in surprise.  He's raised his head - and he's smiling.  He lost, and he's smiling.

I can see the tears in his eyes - there's no disguising that - but he smiles anyway, and shakes hands with Richie, congratulating him on his victory...

How the hell can he smile like that, in front of all these people?!

I stare as he walks slowly from the arena.  He's failed in his quest to be a Pokemon Master, and he's  walking away, just like that...

He turns briefly, looking up to the Flame of Moltres, and his smile becomes less painful, more genuine.

I think I understand.  He'll try again.  I know he will - and one day he will be a Pokemon Master, no matter how long it takes him.

He really is something special.

I continue to watch until he disappears from my line of sight.  Ash still hasn't given up hope, even after what he's been through today...

Maybe I shouldn't, either.

I stand at last, working my way towards the stadium's exits.  I'm not going to mess around any longer.  There are places for me to go, people and pokemon to see -

I catch a glimpse of Ash and his friends as they take his pokemon to the Pokecentre to recover.  I can hear them talking Ash declaring that Richie was going to win his remaining matches, would be a Pokemon Master...

Ash believes in him, now.

Maybe one day he'll believe in me again, too.  I have to hope so.  It doesn't matter to me what anyone else thinks.  I don't know why, but it's true.  There's just something about him that I can't quite shake.  Maybe one day I'll find out why.  Yet for now -

I'm just another face in the crowd...