"Hiei-san, have you found my brother yet?"  I rush up to Hiei as soon as he drops into sight from the branches of a tree in Genkai's garden.  He has been sitting there for the better part of an hour, watching me feed the doves and tend the plants.

Poor Hiei.

He winces slightly, barely noticeably, before replying in a negative.  As usual.  I seriously doubt that he'll ever find the courage to tell me his identity.  Which is too bad, I guess.  It could make things even *more* interesting...

I mold my face into lines of disappointment.  Hiei squirms.  It is pure torture for him to face my sorrow, and more so in that he knows that he himself is the cause...

Poor Hiei.

I invite him in for tea.  He accepts, hesitantly, and I bustle about with the preparations, not giving him the chance to renege.  He has done so a couple of times before, much to my bitter disappointment.

He sits quietly while I pour him his special tea, the tea I make only for him.  I chatter on about the garden and my birds while he sips away.  He finishes swiftly, but I pour him a second cup.  He drinks that, too, and this time I let him go.

He flits away into the trees, and I wave goodbye with a joyful smile.

Poor Hiei.

I collect up the tea set carefully, isolating the items which held Hiei's brew from the rest.  After all, it wouldn't do for me to poison *myself*.

Hiei hasn't even noticed, after all our morning and afternoon teas together.  He hasn't noticed his paling skin, or the way his strength is starting to wane, his stamina to fade...

It's such a *nice* poison.  Very few visible side effects, and fairly common in the Ningenkai for those who know where to look for it.  Pity about the amount necessary to be fatal, but perhaps it is better this way...

It is so satisfying for me to see him suffer so slowly.  After the hell I have been through looking for him, he will not even acknowledge me!  He deserves to suffer.  He will begin to notice the effects soon enough, and *that* is when the real fun will start.

He will come to me for help.  I am, after all, a healer and the closest to him despite his unwillingness to acknowledge himself to be my brother.  And I will put on a good show of concern over him, to all appearances exhausting myself in my attempts to cure his 'wasting illness'...

Or perhaps he will go to Kurama first.  That is the one prospect that I view with some trepidation.  I have been very careful, though, and I doubt that even Kurama will suspect long-term poisoning as the cause for his love's demise.  But *he* already knows that something is wrong.  I have seen the flashes of concern in his eyes whenever Hiei is present.  They have been far more frequent, recently...

Kurama will be heartbroken when my brother dies.  He will have no-one with whom to share his pain; at least, no-one to whom Hiei meant so much - besides me.  *I* will be there to comfort him, and I will let him comfort me in return.

Together we will find a way through the sorrow my brother's death will cause; and Kurama will be mine at last.  *I* will appreciate his love far more than my ungrateful brother.  We will live happily together, thanks to the memory of my brother.

I may have to do something about Kuwabara, though...

*************

Part 2 - The Death of Innocence

Hiei is dead.

He held out for as long as he could, but in the end it was a mercy for him to go.  Even *I* could see that.  I still wish that he could have stayed longer with me, but not at such a cost to him in pain...

I gave him what ease I could, even abandoning my mother to nurse him in his final weeks...  But all my knowledge of plants could not provide a cure for his ailment - could not even reveal to me what it was!  I *was* able to keep him in blissful slumber most of the time, unaware of the passage of time and just *how* ill he truly was... At least, until he neared his end.

He asked me to protect his sister, then, in one of his last brief moments of lucidity.  I realized then that he knew... and he had accepted his fate.  In the fading light of his blood-red eyes, I was forced to accept it too.  No matter that it nearly shattered my heart.  At least *that* was something *he* would never know.

So here I stand in Genkai's garden, watching over the one person who had occupied his last thoughts.  Yukina is sitting quietly on the steps, her arms wrapped around her knees.  The pigeons she so often feeds flutter around her, but she pays them no heed.

A single tear slips silently from the corner of her eye to clatter down the steps onto the ground.

"Yukina-chan."

She turns to face me, a slight smile barely visible over her sorrowful expression.

"Kurama-san, would you like some tea?"

"Hai."  I accept,  and we move inside.  Tea is such a comforting institution, especially when one is the bearer of sad tidings, as she knows I must be.

I watch her closely as she prepares the tea.  It must be painfully obvious to her that Hiei is no more.  I would not leave his side if he was still amongst the living.  She surely knows this, just as she surely felt the death of her twin.  What I am here to say will merely confirm what she feels in her heart, and perhaps explain a little why Hiei never told her...

Hiei.  I catch sight of the cup that Yukina always served him his tea in.  Such a sweet gesture of hers, that we all have cups that match our personalities in some way...  For me, a fox motif; for herself a snowy landscape; for Hiei, a dragon...

I pick up his cup, staring at it in my hand, my eyes misting over.  I shut them tightly against my tears and bow my head, clutching the cup to my chest.

A familiar scent  causes my eyes to burst open.  His cup.  Hiei's cup.

It smells of his death.

I hear a sharp intake of breath, and am fast enough  to catch the ever-so-brief flash of annoyance in Yukina's eyes as she glares at me holding the cup.  Then it is gone, as if it never existed.

But it did.  And I am chilled to the bone.

"Kurama-san, what's wrong?"

Her words and expression are full of concern, but *now* I do not believe it.

"*How could you?*"  My voice is no more than a whisper - that is all I can force through my dry throat.  "Your own *brother*!"

She blinks innocently.

"Kurama-san, what are you talking - "

I cannot bear to hear it, be it lies or explanations.  Whatever she says, it will *never* be able to compensate for what she has done; not in my eyes.

"*You killed Hiei*!"

I am at her throat in an instant, my hands clamped around her neck and squeezing for all I am worth.

Her eyes widen in horror as she realizes that I am quite serious.  She killed Hiei.  She killed one of the only two people in either the Makai or the Ningenkai that I have come to truly love.  And I never had the chance to tell him.  She *killed* him before I could tell him!

She struggles futilely in my grasp, her red eyes pleading up at me.

I hesitate.  Her eyes are so much like his...

A chill runs down my spine as icy fingers clutch at me, pulling me away from her...

Hiei was never so cold.

My hands clench - there is a sudden crack, then her body goes limp in my arms.  I slide to the floor with her, my hands still locked around her throat.

I have killed Hiei's sister.  The sister he asked me to protect.

The sister who killed *him*.

****************

Part 3 - Death and Madness

It's kind of depressing, knowing that one of your teammates is going to die.  Hell, who am I kidding - it's a *lot* depressing, even when the one dying is Hiei.  Even Kuwabara is down about it.  I think that he finally realized that despite all the fights the two of them had, they were still both a part of a team.  The Urameshi Team, the best in the business!  My team...

It's strange to think that soon there will only be three of us.  Deep down, I guess I don't want to think about it.  We've been through so many things together - so many fights, missions, even death...  Well, *I've* been through death, and I guess Kurama has too in a way...

Kurama's taking it pretty badly, though.  I mean, he tries to smile and all, but who does he think he's kidding?  Not me!  Maybe Kuwabara, though... and maybe Hiei himself...  I wish that the two of them could have sorted that mess out *before* all this happened...  'Cause at this rate we'll be losing *two* team members...

And then there's Yukina.  Man, has Hiei got a mess of a life to clean up!  I just hope he has time...  Anyway, I guess Kuwabara's been good with Yukina.  He'll help her get over Hiei's eventual death.  Probably a good thing she *doesn't* know that he's her brother.  It'll be easier on her this way.  Seeing Yukina cry is almost as bad as if it was Keiko...

"Think the little bastard's dead, yet?"  Kuwabara interrupts my thoughts as we head into Genkai's temple.  The words are somewhat callous, but I know that the gruffness is there only to hide his concern.  If only for Yukina's sake.

I catch a flash of bright red hair through an open doorway and freeze, grabbing Kuwabara's arm to make him stop.

"Kurama's here,"  I hiss at him.  He pales slightly.  We *both* know what *that* means.  He would never willingly abandon Hiei, so...

I take a deep breath, brace myself, and enter the room, Kuwabara following behind me.

I freeze again as I see Kurama on the floor, bending over Yukina who is wrapped in his arms...

"Yukina-san!"  Kuwabara rushes over to her.  I stay where I am.  Something is *not right*...

Kuwabara pulls Yukina gently out of Kurama's embrace, calling her name.

Kurama raises his head to look at me - but his face is blank, his eyes dead...

"Yukina-san?"  Kuwabara's voice is little more than a whisper, as he looks down at her limp form in horror.

"Kurama,"  I manage to get out.  "What the *hell* happened?!"

He blinks those dead green eyes at me.

"Hiei's dead."

I lean forward and grab him by the shoulders, shaking him.

"And so's Yukina!  *What the hell happened?*"

"I killed her."

I stare at him, frozen once more.  Beside me I hear Kuwabara making similar inarticulate sounds of disbelief.  Gods, please tell me that this is a nightmare...

"She killed Hiei."  The words drop from Kurama's lips like teardrops, hitting the ground with a splat.  "She poisoned him.  I had to kill her.  She killed Hiei."  He is staring *through* me, now, with glazed eyes and ashen face.

Gods, he really did it.  He really killed -

"NOOOO!!!"  Kuwabara lunges at Kurama in a blind rage, sword in hand, striking to kill...

"Kurama!"  I move to intercept the blow - but it's not necessary.  Somewhere in Kurama's brain a survival reflex is still working.

I can only gape as Kuwabara drops to the floor.  Three slivers of bamboo are sticking out of his eyes.  I turn to face Kurama - and several more slivers zip past me, one brushing my cheek.

"REI-GUN!"  Kurama is down, momentarily.  A moment is all I need - a couple of swift punches, and he's out cold.

So here I am, sitting on the floor in Genkai's temple, the bodies of three of my friends lying around me.  Two dead, one unconscious - and possibly insane.  I wish I knew the truth.

This has got to be the worst day of my life.

Urameshi Team, down at least two.  Hell, it'd probably be better off down all four.

Man, I wish this was a dream...

**********

Part 4 - Want

Yuusuke is still sitting in the middle of a pile of bodies - well, three of them, anyway -  when I arrive.  According to Koenma he has been sitting like this for the past hour or more.  Poor Yuusuke...

"Yuusuke?"  I touch his shoulder hesitantly.  He doesn't move.

I sigh, and go to check on Kurama.  Alive, but still unconscious.

"Have you come to take them?"  Yuusuke's voice startles me a little.  He is gazing at me steadily.

"No," I inform him.  "They're gone already.  One of the others took them."  He shrugs his acceptance of that.

"I would have thought it would be you."

I shrug in reply.  I had thought so, too...  They *were* my friends, after all.  I *knew* them in a manner far beyond just reading the words that described their lives in the Book...

"So you're not here on official Reikai business, then."

I glare at him.

"Just checking, is all."  He smiles feebly.

I sigh again.  "Actually, I *am* here on official business.  Just not regarding *them*."  I wave a hand at the two corpses, formerly friends.

Yuusuke frowns.  "Then what - " he starts, before flicking his gaze across to Kurama's unconscious body.

I nod solemnly in answer.

"Urameshi Yuusuke, as a member of the Reikai Tantei you are obliged to bring in Youko Kurama for the murders of Koorime Yukina and Kuwabara Kazuma."

He bows his head, and clenches his fists.  "What does the Book say about all this?"  he demands.  "Why didn't you or Koenma stop all this from ever happening?"

I kneel before him, and rest one hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.  He shrugs it off, angrily.

"Yuusuke, it was their time to die."

He raises his head to stare at me once more.

"And Kurama?"

I shake my head, sadly.  "Hiei's death broke him..."

Yuusuke shuts his eyes briefly, before opening them with a look of determination in them.  He walks over to Kurama and scoops him up into his arms.

"Fine," he tells me, his face grim.  "Let's get this over with."

Shortly we are on our way to the Reikai, leaving two dead bodies behind us.

Kurama still has not regained consciousness when we at last stand before Koenma.  He is in his teenaged form for once, his face as grim as Yuusuke's own.

"I hope you're happy,"  Yuusuke bursts out, his fury evident in his voice.

"Yuusuke!"  Koenma's voice is as sharp and cold as ice.  "They were my friends, too!  But I didn't have a *choice*!  No-one could have altered their destinies!"

"*WE* could have!"

I hang back as the air between them seems to crackle with the intensity of their conflict...  Yuusuke is righteously angry -

But Koenma is resolute.  In the end it is Yuusuke who must give in.  He whirls around, slamming his fist against the wall on his way out.  Koenma and I do not move, waiting for the sounds of his departure to cease.

At last, he is gone.  And we can relax.

"Baka!"  I snap at Koenma.  "He won't want anything to do with the Reikai, now!"

"Calm down, Botan," he tells me.  Calm down?!

"It's all right for *you*!  You've already *got* what you want!"  Indeed, already he is holding Kurama to him, stroking his cheek lightly.  Uncaring of my presence, he has lowered his head, touching his lips to Kurama's - and is starting to undress him...

He doesn't even look up, so intent is he on his gorgeous red-head.  "And so have you, if you play your cards right."

"Nani?!"

He looks up at me, at last, smirking.  "I made a few additions to our little plan.  Why don't you go ask Hinageshi who she just brought in," he suggests.

I raise one eyebrow, before leaving the room.  This had better be good, Koenma, or even being able to play with Kurama is not going to compensate you for the trouble I can cause if I don't get what I want...

And I *want* Urameshi Yuusuke!

**********

Part 5 - Comfort of the Soul

A faint rustle grabs my attention, the movement of cloth on cloth.  I turn to the bed - and its single occupant.  He stirs, just beginning to wake.  I sit on the edge of the bed, leaning over him to brush his bright red hair away from his forehead...

His emerald-green eyes flash open, his fear and apprehension apparent in them.  He sits bolt-upright, the sheets sliding away from his bare chest, which I observe with carefully concealed appreciation.

"Easy, Kurama," I soothe him in a gentle voice.  "You're safe now."

He blinks at me uncertainly, and my throat tightens as tears slowly seep from his eyes.

"What - ?" His voice is hoarse.  He clears it, and tries again.  "What happened?"

I gaze solemnly at him.  "What do you remember?"

"I remember - " He falters.  I nod sympathetically, encouraging him.  "I remember - "  His eyes widen once more, his breath catching in his throat, and he crumples onto the bed.

I gather him into my arms, stroking his hair, rocking him gently as he cries into my shoulder.

"Hiei!" He gasps out between sobs.  "Hiei's *dead*!"

"I know, I know."  I hold him gently, letting my actions convey my sympathy, and my understanding.  I *do* know exactly what is going on, after all.  I understand far more than anyone else could - for I have orchestrated most of it myself.

"She killed him!  She killed him before I could tell him!  I had to -! "  He freezes suddenly, drawing back to look intently into my eyes.  "You *do* believe me, don't you?  She *killed* him!"

And don't I know it.  She was such a pleasure to observe, the way she got rid of that brat of a brother of hers.  I might have even kept her around if she hadn't been after *you*!

"I believe you,"  I assure him.  "I know what she did.  But I found out too late to stop her..."  I hang my head as if in shame.  "You were right to kill her.  She had to be stopped.  She would have killed you all, eventually...  I'm so sorry, Kurama.  This is all my fault..."

The lies drip so easily from my tongue.  After all, I've had plenty of practice.  And they're not all lies, just - alternate ways of looking at the truth.

I slump my shoulders in apparent despair.

"No."  He shakes his head, wide eyed.  "It's not your fault."

"Then whose fault is it?" I ask him heatedly.  "I'm the god of death!  Who else is responsible?"  I slam my fist down on the bed, making it tremble.

I close my eyes and sigh.  "I'm sorry, Kurama," I tell him.  "I've lost so many friends over the years...  That's the big downside of being what I am.  And I'm always left alone..." I trail off.

I can *feel* his burning gaze resting upon me.

Fingertips brush my cheek, and I open my eyes.  His green eyes are full of mingled pain and compassion.

"Not at the moment, you're not."

"No," I answer, breathing heavily.  "Not at the moment."

I reach for his face, pulling his head towards me with both hands.  He blinks, stiffening a little in surprise, but that soon fades as my lips meet his in a binding kiss.  Tentatively at first, the with true hunger, he returns my offering of companionship.

I lean forward, pushing him back down onto the bed, as his hands roam my body, tugging at my clothes.  I shrug out of them swiftly, grateful that I had removed his earlier.  I don't want him to have a chance to even *think* about not following this through.
 

We lie together afterwards, and I hold his body comfortably pressed against my own.

"What happened to the others?"

The question startles me.

"The others?"

"They came in after - " he breaks off.  "They didn't believe me - "

"Hush!"  I tighten my grip on him momentarily, comforting him with a hug.  "You can't help that they will not listen to us."

"'Us'?"

I sigh heavily into his hair.  "We tried, too, Botan and I.  They wouldn't listen to us, either."

"But, what about Kuwabara?  I think I hurt him..."

"You did."  I hear his swift intake of breath.  "But not as much as he hurt *himself*."

Kurama tilts his head back to stare at me.

"He's dead, too,"  I tell him sadly.  His eyes widen, and start to glisten once more.  "And Yuusuke has told us that he wants nothing to do with any of us, ever again."

Kurama's face twists, and he buries his head against my chest once more.

"They've left us both alone, Kurama, but at least we still have each other."

I hear a shaky affirmative amidst his muffled sobs.

I smile, and hold his shuddering body.

We will always have each other.  *I* will always have *him*.

Just as I planned, all along.

***********

Part 6 - Broken Dolls

"Hi, Keiko!"  Atsuko waves a drunken greeting at me as I enter the apartment.  It's barely noon and already she's been at it.  I would have thought she'd still be asleep...  "Yuusuke's not in right now, I think he's out with Kuwabara..."

"I know," I tell her calmly.  "Actually, I came here to see *you*."

"Oh I see!" She exclaims enthusiastically.  "You want tips on how to be a good wife to my Yuusuke, ne?"  She leans in close enough that the alcohol in her breath almost smothers me.  I back away hastily.

"Nooo, that's not it."

She shrugs.  "Well, whatever..."

She slumps back down against the wall, a total wreck of a human being...  It's rather obvious where Yuusuke gets his  churlish behavior  from.  Anyone with a mother like *that* is never going to learn even the rudiments of appropriate comportment.

"Urameshi-san, you really shouldn't drink so much.  It'll be the death of you one of these days."

"Eh?"  She blinks at me.  "And just what does that matter?"

"It would matter to Yuusuke," I inform her.

"He would get over it.  After all, he's been through it all before, and he made me think *he* was dead, that time..."

"He *was* dead!  And he almost stayed that way!"  I snort in disbelief.  "Don't you remember how sad you were?  He'd feel the same way!"

"We all have to die sometime, Keiko," she replies, calmly enough - but there is an glimmer of worry in her eyes.  "But why are we talking about such things?!  We're both still alive!"

I walk over to the kitchen and open the cutlery draw.  I can feel her unsteady gaze following me.  Carefully, I choose a sharp carving knife from the selection available.  I turn to face Atsuko, knife in hand.  And I smile.

"Not for much longer."

Her eyes widen in horror, and she presses back against the wall.  She manages a flustered smile.

"Eh, Keiko-chan, you're just kidding, right?"  She laughs nervously as I walk towards her, knife firmly grasped in one hand, a smile plastered on my face.

"No, I'm not," I assure her.

"But... but what about Yuusuke? Eh?  You don't want to hurt him, do you?"  She is sliding sideways along the wall, away from me.  I pursue her relentlessly.

"Just making sure you knew that he is going to suffer.  It's a lot more fun that way."

I leap for her, knocking her to the ground.  She catches hold of the wrist of the hand which holds the knife, trying to force it away from her.  We roll around on the floor as she struggles, both of us getting minor cuts and bruises, until at last I have a clear strike at her chest.

"KEEIIKOOOUuhhh!!!"

The scream changes in mid-syllable to an unintelligible moan of anguished pain as the knife strikes home, sliding between her ribs and puncturing her left lung with an audible 'pop'.   I strike twice more for good measure, before sitting back to watch her gasp out her last breaths before she drowns in her own blood.

She stares at me with eyes glazed over with pain.  As I watch, the little spark of light within them slowly fades away.

I am not in very good condition, either - I am bleeding rather badly from a gash in the shoulder where she had been successful in turning the knife back against me - but that scarcely matters to me.  After all, it's not as if it's *my* body.

Pounding and shouting at the door grabs my attention.  Atsuko's screams have been noticed.  Good.  The neighbors' testimony should help.

I watch impassively as her spirit is guided to the Reikai, then slip out of the body I had borrowed just as it grows faint from the blood-loss.  Before my spirit's eyes, Keiko collapses in a heap, just as Atsuko's neighbors break down the door.

I smile to myself.  I have kept *my* end of the bargain, now it is time for Koenma to keep *his*.

That little bitch won't be leading my brother on anymore.  She won't be manipulating Kurama, and she *won't* get away with killing Hiei!  *My* Hiei, whom I loved so much...  I was even willing to share him with Kurama, if that fox ever got up the nerve to tell him...  But he never did.  And I didn't find out until too late that -

I steel myself against the emotions that surge over my spirit form.

Yukina is going to die.

Or Koenma is going to *pay*.

Nobody crosses Kuwabara Shizuru and gets away with it.

*Nobody*.

*************

Part 7 - To Follow A Dream

"Yuusuke!"

I can barely whisper his name.  He stands before my hospital bed with death in his eyes.  His *mother's* death.  For which *I* am to be charged.

He stares at me in silence.  I don't know what to say - but I must say *something*!

"Yuusuke - it wasn't me!  I swear it wasn't me!  I don't know how, but..."  My sudden flow of words trickles to a halt in the face of his implacable gaze.

"Please,"  I try again.  "Please believe me, Yuusuke!"  Tears run down my cheeks, as I plead with him...

He sighs heavily, bowing his head.  When he lifts it once more, he flashes me a weak half-grin.

"You know, I thought that my day just couldn't get any worse," he tells me.

Worse?  What could have possibly happened before - ?  I study his expression carefully, looking past my own pain and confusion, to see *his*.  He looks away once more.

"I went over to Genkai's just a short while ago, along with Kuwabara.  We were going to check on Yukina, what with Hiei and all..."  He glances up briefly, meeting my eyes.  "Kurama was over there.  He told us that Hiei was dead."

I close my eyes.  Poor Kurama.  Poor Yukina.  They must both be heartbroken -

"Yukina was there, too.  She was dead."

*What?!*

"Kurama told us that he'd killed her."

Now I *know* I'm imagining things.  It's a huge relief to know that this is no more than a nightmare, and I will soon wake up from it -

"Kuwabara kind of lost it, at that.  He tried to kill Kurama."

I'm not at all surprised, this time.  He can be *so* protective of Yukina.  I think it's sweet.  Probably the nicest thing to happen in this horrid fantasy of mine...

"He didn't succeed, though.  Kurama killed *him* instead."

How noble of him, to die attempting to avenge Yukina...  It would have been better if he'd *won*, of course, but I can hardly picture Kurama as the villain...  Unless he's in his youko form...

"I had to turn Kurama over to the Reikai authorities.  He's probably serving a sentence in Hell, right now..."

I giggle.  I cannot help it.  He blinks at me in shock.

"I'm sorry," I tell him.  "I just wondered if they'd make him cut his hair... It would be *such* a shame..."

He shakes his head, a stunned expression on his face.  "Keiko," he asks me, "*did* you kill my mother?"

"Of course not!" I reply indignantly.  "Don't you believe me, baka?!"

He hesitates a long moment before answering.  "I'm sorry, Keiko.  I don't know *what* to believe, anymore..."

"Fine!" I snap at him.  "Be that way!"

I roll over on my bed, burying my head in my pillow, and wait for him to leave.

Eventually I hear the door click as he leaves my room.

Now I must wait for this nightmare to end.

The hours pass.  And I am still here.

Frustrated, I turn to the window which overlooks a beautiful park, several floors below.   I gaze up into the afternoon sky, imagining that I could fly away on one of the wisps of cloud I see.

And why *shouldn't* I be able to?  I realize this with a laugh.  After all, this is *my* dream, and I would like to have at least *one* pleasant experience in it!

I try the latch.  It is locked.  Oh well.

I smash the window with the chair meant for visitors.  What does it matter, anyway?

The guard who had been posted outside my door burst into the room - but by then I am already slipping over the windowsill...
 

And at last, I am *flying*!

It is an unbelievable feeling, to be so light and unburdened!  I revel in it, spinning delightedly in the air...

Eventually I notice a crowd gathering on the street below me.  I swoop down for a closer look.  Nobody gives me a second glance - or even a *first* glance! - as I hover above the centre of the commotion.

I freeze.

No.

This can't be happening.

This can't be real!

It's just a *dream*!

A flash of pink and blue catches my attention.

"Botan?"  I plead, not really wanting to hear the answer to the question that I am too afraid to ask.

She smiles at me.  It is not the cheerful, friendly smile of the Botan *I* know.  This 'smile' is no more than a malicious parody of *that* one...

"Sorry, Keiko-chan."  She laughs cruelly.  "You lose."  Then she is gone.

And I am alone, left drifting - a spirit without a guide...

Only now I can see where I have been led before...

Now I *know* -

Oh, Yuusuke...

I'm so sorry...

*********

Part 8 - Time Will Tell

:Oneechan!:  I call out to her, surprised to sense her presence so near.  What's she doing here in the Reikai?  She can't be dead, too!  I ditch the Guide who had brought me this far, and head over to see my sister instead.

When I see her, I am relieved.  She's not dead.  But then what's she doing here?  And for that matter *how* did she get here?

:What the hell happened to you?:  That's my sister for you.  I die and she invokes hell to find out why.  It's really rather touching.  :Did that *bitch* kill you, too?:

Bitch?  What - ?

:You knew!:  I accuse her.  :You *knew* what Yukina was like, and you didn't even *tell* me!:

:You weren't exactly eager to listen, Kazuma.:  Well, I guess she has a point there.  I didn't even want to listen to Sakura when she explained why Yukina was being sent to Hell...  But I had to.  The Book doesn't lie.  :And you still haven't answered my question: *what happened?*:

I sigh.  As much as anyone lacking a physical body can sigh, anyway...

:Kurama killed Yukina, I got a little upset about it.  I kinda tried to kill Kurama, but he ended up killing me...:

:NANI?!:  She stares at me in shock.  :*Kurama* killed you?:

:Well, yeah...:  What else can I say?  :But I don't think he meant to...:

She blinks at me a couple of times, before her expression goes blank.  Without another word she turns around and heads off, deeper into the Reikai.

:Hey, oneechan!:  I call after her.  :Wait up!  Where are you going?:

She doesn't answer, ignoring my presence.  I keep pestering her, but still she refuses to answer.  At last we reach a door at the end of a long, empty corridor.  I watch with anticipation as she opens it up -

Within is a cosy room, simply furnished with a bed, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers, a desk and not much else.  There's a bit of decoration here and there: a painting on the wall, flowers on the desk, Kurama sleeping peacefully on the bed...

NANI?!

I shake my head, blinking in surprise.  That is most *definitely* Kurama.  Although I must admit I've never seen quite that *much* of Kurama before!  On second glance, however, he doesn't look quite so peaceful...

He tosses over in his sleep, moving restlessly.  I think he's dreaming.  I wonder if it's about me?

I turn to oneechan to ask her once more she's up to, but the look on her face as she eyes Kurama makes me change my mind.  I get a sudden premonition that I really don't *want* to know.

Bare seconds later she picks up a pillow from next to his head.  She holds it for a moment, staring at it with a harsh look that I am most glad is *not* directed at *me*.  I'm surprised the pillow is still in one piece.

She snorts briefly, then places the pillow square across Kurama's face, effectively smothering him.

:Oneechan!:  I grab at her arms, trying to pull her off him.  He may have killed me, but it was partly my own fault!  I didn't listen to him about Yukina, and I tried to kill him first!  He doesn't deserve to die for that!

My efforts are in vain, however - my ghostly limbs slide straight through hers, without gaining purchase.

I am forced to watch helplessly as Kurama's body jerks a little before finally stilling.

I back away, staring in horror at Shizuru.  I won't call her oneechan.  What Kurama did to me in a moment of uncontrolled instinct is nothing like the premeditated murder she has just committed.

Why did she do it?  To avenge me?  I shudder at the thought.

My attention is diverted as Kurama's spirit rises from the bed.  And vanishes.  Where - ?

The door is flung open behind  - well, actually *through* - me.

Koenma stands there, *furious*.  I've *never* seen him so pissed before...

"Too late, Koenma,"  Shizuru laughs at him.  "You've lost your little pet!"

He narrows his eyes, his gaze deadly.  Gods, Shizuru, what are you thinking?!

"I'll find him again.  *You* on the other hand have found your eternal resting place."

"Why Koenma, are you going to kill me?"  She's still laughing.  How can she still be laughing?  And what the hell is Koenma up to?  Has the entire world gone crazy?!

"I don't have to kill you."  He smiles now, but it's *not* a pleasant sight.  "You're in the Reikai, now.  Just where do you think your soul would go from here?"

Shizuru stops laughing.  All of a sudden I want her to start again.

"I'll even let your brother stay with you."  His gaze flickers over to me.  "You can tell him everything you've done for him, Shizuru.  I'm sure he'll be *very* appreciative!"

He laughs, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.  Only now there *is* no door.

I turn to Shizuru for explanations.  She won't look at me.

Oh well.  I guess I can wait a bit.

It certainly looks like we'll have the time.

**********

Part 9 - Half and Half

I am the soul of Urameshi Yuusuke made flesh.

Everyone knows this, has known it since the day I first hatched...

What they do *not* know is that *that* soul is only part of what I am.  The part currently nominally in control, yes, but a very small part of my whole being.  But the rest of myself has been dormant for so long, I sometimes wonder if it will ever truly wake...

I hope that it does not.

I fear that it will.

I have sensed it stirring so rarely throughout my life - yet in these past few years it has begun to move, increasingly restless...

The last time I felt it like this was just before Keiko-chan died.  Well, committed suicide, really.  At least, that was how it appeared.  *I* know better.

I wish I could have told Yuusuke-me at the time that she had been pushed to do it - but I was not permitted to do so, prohibited by the darker soul that wraps around his within me.  All I could do was project my distress... and *that* was of no help to him, no help at all...  Perhaps I was foolish to even try.  For why would that dark shadow permit me to tell Yuusuke-me of what it had done to his beloved Keiko-chan?

It hurt him, Keikos' death, following so soon behind Hiei's, Kuwabara's, Yukina's... and his mother's...  *That* was probably the worst, for after Keiko-chan's apparent suicide he believed that she had indeed murdered his mother...  I tried to convince him otherwise, but by then he had become bitter indeed... for which I blame Botan.

Within her I sense the same kind of malicious spirit as dwells within me.  A kindred spirit.  Only she has no other kinder soul to temper its malignancy...  And she has used this to twist Yuusuke-me to her will.

He has become the most powerful youkai in the Makai - and he *uses* that power.  But *she* influences its direction.  Soon she will have complete control over it, over him.

And I can do nothing but watch.

At this very moment they are making their move - the move that will either make them a force never before seen in any of the worlds or destroy them utterly.

They believe that they can win.  They believe that they can actually conquer Reikai together, overcoming the new Enma who has so recently replaced his father as Lord of the Dead.  For an instant I believe, too.

But the moment passes swiftly, and I feel an indignation arise within me; an indignation at the thought that a puny mortal being and a former Reikai Guide who has long since abandoned her post dare to think to battle Enma in his own home!

It does not bother me that I would not have felt this way bare minutes ago.  Nothing bothers me now, save the presence of the two who I have observed for so long together...

I scream my rage to the world as waves of ki wash over me, transforming me...

From within me, from the dark-me that is now truly me, a voice arises to condemn them both.

:I warned you not to play beyond your ability!:  The voice echoes through me to Yuusuke-me and his companion.  :It has been an interesting way to pass the time, but now you will pay for your foolishness.  This game is *mine*, as it always has been - and always will be!:

There is nothing they can do to resist.  I have them both in my grasp, drawing them in close enough for the dark-me to work his will upon them.

And upon me.

I feel the annihilation of  Botan and Yuusuke-me.  He will not risk them escaping from the holding cells.  But he has no choice with me. As much as I can feel his desire to obliterate the part of me that is Yuusuke's soul, he does not dare.

He does not dare risk harm to his own immortal soul.

So I am placed in the Reikai holding cells for what will most likely be eternity.  My only crime -

Being the soul of that which was Koenma.

********

Part 10 - Sweet Revenge

I watch as he watches the beautiful silver-haired youko walking amidst the ruins of what was Urameshi Yuusuke's stronghold.

I could kill him for the look in his eyes, the look that proclaims his desire to own what he sees.  But I will not kill him.  What I plan will be far more satisfying than mere death.

"Pretty, ne?"  I call out softly, so that the youko will not hear.

His head snaps up, his eyes widening at the sight of me looking down on him from my tree perch.  I have surprised him, for which I am pleased.  I intend to go on surprising him.

I jump down from my branch, landing lightly on my feet.  He steps back a pace, his gaze flickering momentarily to the ruins beside us.  Feeling guilty, is he?

"It's been a long time, Koenma.  Or I suppose I should call you Enma-sama now."

He looks me up and down, eyes lingering on the katana at my side.  "Either one is fine, from *you*.  You *are* an old friend, after all."

I laugh, and turn to gaze after my silver-haired companion, who is rummaging though the ruins, heedless of our conversation.

"So were Yuusuke and Botan."

I hear his teeth grinding in frustration behind me.

"I *had* to!  There was no other way to stop them!  You have to believe me!"

"Oh?"  I turn to pierce him with an icy glare.  "Why should I believe *anything* you say?  I know the truth, Koenma!  After all these years, I *know* what you've done to your 'friends'!"

His face hardens suddenly.  "And just what do you intend to do about it?  You cannot hope to defeat me.  Even my own father could not stop me!"

He smiles just as suddenly, invitingly.  "Come with me, join me, and together we can rule all the worlds!"

I laugh once more at his preposterous offer.  "Is that why you were so upset at Yuusuke and Botan?  Because they were going after what *you* wanted?"

His smile turns to a scowl as I brush off his offer with a wave of my hand.  "I've been offered that opportunity before, Koenma.  You know that.  I refused then, as I refuse now.  I have no interest in ruling over anything."

"Then what *are* you interested in?"  He watches me intently.  I do believe he would give me just about anything I want.  But I only want one thing.

I move to stand before him, my eyes bare inches from his own.  I smile at him, grasping his face in my hands, and touch my lips to his.  He opens his mouth eagerly, returning my kiss with great fervor.

He does not even notice the plant which slowly begins to consume him.  Not at first, anyway.  By the time he does it is far too late - he has almost completely succumbed to its soul-draining appetite.

"Kurama!"

He gasps my name with the last of his strength.  I smile back at him.

"Revenge," I whisper, answering his final question to me.  He stares back in horrified fury.

I watch as my plant consumes him utterly, wanting to make sure the task is complete.  There will be no escaping this trap, for this plant does not simply devour life, but the souls of life as well.  It has taken me many years to find the seed of such a plant, but I deem it well worth the wait.  Even the soul of Enma is susceptible to it.

"What was all that about?"

My companion is back, and curious about my use of such an unfamiliar plant.  I smile at her.

"Just a little old business,"  I tell her.  "You might remember some of it, in time..."

"Hn," she snorts, red eyes glaring at me from beneath her silver bangs.  "Tell me now!"

I laugh, and hand her back her katana.

"Whatever you wish, koibito, whatever you wish."

After all, time is not meant to be wasted.