It's cold, ever so cold.  At least that is how I believe humans would describe it.  Cold is an alien concept to one such as I; or so it used to be.  I was born to a world of ice, and for a long time I never realized that there could be more to the world that what was offered upon our island.

Isolation.

It serves a purpose, I suppose, in protecting us from what could overwhelm us - but without the ebb and flow of the world being permitted to touch and shape us, we are left within a stagnant pool.  What makes it worse is that this pool is now frozen from within, and we are locked within an unchanging tomb of our own creation.

Their creation; not ours.  Not mine.  Never mine.  Nor my mother's, not completely.

I often wondered just how it was she came to be with our father.  An outsider, different, against all she had ever been taught.  She was brave, my mother, but not quite brave enough.  She bore a forbidden child, but did not have the courage to keep him, did not have the courage to at least try to shield him from the prejudices of our kin.

She cast him out, in accordance with the combined will of the koorime.  It was intended to be a death sentence, no matter her hopes.  That it was not was due to my brother's own strength, and to the whims of the Fates.

My brother is brave, just like our mother; but he, too, is not strong enough.  He does not have the firmness of will that would enable him to do what must be done.

It isn't his fault.  I take the blame upon myself, just as I shoulder this burden he cannot bear.  It is only fitting, it is only just.  I should never have tried to lay it upon him in the first place.

Why sully his hands unnecessarily when my own are already so tarnished?

I committed myself to this course of action decades ago; I will not falter now.  It is time to complete what I started years before.

I'm almost there, I'm almost home: my first, and my last.

I smile as I greet my kin, ignoring the hostile gazes that settle upon me, shedding tears for those that are friendly.  The momentary warmth that touches my heart sets off the dull ache that has tormented me for so long.  Kazuma, wonderful Kazuma, smothered that ache with his kindness and love for many years, but with his loss the void has returned - and even grown.  I know it will never be filled again.

The smile stiffens on my face until it is as frozen as the hearts and minds of my kindred.

Soon they will be colder still.

Overseeing the souls of humans who died was not a job conducive to making friends.

/Although I've tried - the gods know I've tried./

Adding to that the chore of doing the same for dead youkai while his father was on holiday did not really help Koenma in any way.

/Especially when my friends are the ones either about to drop dead or make a hell of a lot of trouble for Reikai./

All in all, it was not a very good day.

"KOENMA!!!"

And it didn't look like it would be improving any time in the near future.  Koenma did not sigh, and maintained his steady rhythm as he worked his way through the backlog of files building up on his terminal and desk.  Computerization of the Reikai files was far from complete, and currently making his life hell as he alternated between the two filing systems.  He was under no illusions as to why his father's vacation period was being extended with no explanations offered.  As long as no major disasters occurred, it was doubtful that Enma Daioh would turn up again until the transition period was over.

A gust of wind accompanied the loud-voiced new arrival, and would have sent papers flying had not Koenma reflexively slapped a hand on top of the pile.  He kept his eyes focused on his work, to all intents and purposes ignoring his uninvited guest.  Unfortunately for him, this did not succeed in dissuading the newcomer from voicing his complaint; but then, Kuwabara had always been very determined when it came to Yukina.

"Where the hell is my wife?!"  The spirit who had last been incarnated as Kuwabara Kazuma had maintained his towering form in Reikai, and used it to his fullest advantage in an attempt to intimidate the Reikai Lord.

"Somewhere in Makai from what I can tell," Koenma answered calmly, unperturbed.

"'Somewhere in Makai'?"  Kuwabara repeated.  "'From what you can tell'?!  Aren't you supposed to know everything?  What the hell is that worth?!"

Koenma lifted his eyes, meeting Kuwabara's gaze unflustered.  "No, I don't know everything.  I've never said I did.  I don't know where Yukina is, but I'm trying to find out - even though it's not my job and I've got enough to do that is my job to last several lifetimes.  Several of my lifetimes!"  /However long that is...  Too long, if Otousan is anything to judge by.../  "I am doing the best I can, Kuwabara.  Just give me a little time to do so!"

Kuwabara deflated slightly, sighing.  "If you could just let me - "

"No."

"But - "

"No."  Koenma answered forcefully, his demeanor inflexible.  "No exceptions, not even for old friends."  /I'm sorry.../  He turned his attention back to his work.

"You made an exception for Keiko," the red head muttered accusingly.  Koenma froze, his face paling.

"That was not my decision to make," he snapped heatedly.  "Reikai had no control over the matter whatsoever."  His glare slowly subsided, his voice losing its edge.  "Besides, Keiko was dying, not missing - and there is one who would most definitely do for Yukina what Kurama did for Keiko, were it at all possible.  Especially after what Kurama did for Keiko."  His voice challenged the spirit to oppose him; Kuwabara winced instead.

"You're right," he acknowledged unhappily.  "I apologize."  Koenma held his gaze a moment longer, before waving one hand at an empty chair.

"Kireina and Hiei should be here shortly," he informed him, then resumed sorting through his files.  His motions were automatic, however, as his attention was focused on the past represented by the spirit slumped in his spare chair so close by.

/They were the closest friends I've ever had./

There was always George of course, but as far as Koenma was concerned, George didn't count.  There was a great difference between having someone ordered to be your friend and forging your own bonds of friendship with someone.

/Bonds.  We were bound together.  What was it that drove us all apart?/

It was actually a simple question to answer.  A drunk driver by the name of Kaneko Maki could be assigned almost complete blame.

/Keiko should have died in that accident, along with her child.../

It was a mixed blessing that she had not.  Or rather, her human self had died from the injuries she had sustained.  Her soul, however, lived on.  In the body of Youko Kurama.

/I knew that Kurama considered himself indebted to Yusuke for Minamino Shiori's life, but I never dreamed he would go so far to repay that debt.  I didn't know that such a thing could be done!/

Koenma hadn't been the only one shocked by the actions of the now-former youkai.  Hiei had tried to kill Yusuke, amongst other things, as a means of showing Kurama just how he felt about the whole matter.  It hadn't made any difference.  It wasn't possible to undo what had been done.

/So Yusuke and Keiko live happily in Makai, which is just fine apart from the thrashing Otousan gave me for the mess of paperwork that caused, and the fact that Keiko is now on Reikai's 'wanted' list...   But Hiei never forgave Kurama for giving up his youkai life./

Yusuke would not come near Reikai while his 'wife' was branded a criminal.  Koenma presented regular petitions to his father concerning the matter - petitions which were just as regularly ignored.

/I doubt he even bothers to look at them./

Kurama's reiki was nowhere near the level his youki had been at, and he was thus barred from the Reikai Tantei for his own safety.  Kalei, and later their daughter Kireina, had assumed his place, also keeping him informed of events - but he was never again closely associated with any of the others.  He lived out his life as an ordinary human - and would shortly die as one.  There would be no third chance.

Hiei knew that.  Indeed, the fire demon had been very emphatic about just how well he knew that unpleasant little fact.  He completely refused to have anything to do with Kurama after that, and only grudgingly agreed to work with Kireina as the occasion demanded.

/He'll have settled down in a few centuries; unfortunately Kurama no longer even has years.  Yukina couldn't even get them back together, and now with Yukina gone.../

Koenma doubted that Hiei would be any more pleased by the news his sister was missing than Kuwabara had been.  Kuwabara and Yukina had led lives of perfect contentment up until his death.  Only now when they were parted was there any hint of trouble.

Death.  It was inevitable, but most refused to consider it seriously until it was too late to do anything but face the consequences.  Yukina had left it too late, Hiei had dealt with it too soon.  The koorime-born twins were outwardly ever a study of contrasts.

/Yet under their appearances.../

A gentle draft rustled the papers on the desk, forestalling any further speculation into the matter.

"Hiei," Koenma greeted him without looking up, causing Kuwabara to start out of his chair.  The fire demon did not answer.  In the face of Koenma's continued silence, he turned to face away from Kuwabara, standing stiffly with his arms folded across his chest.  Hiei had been informed of his old comrade's death, but it seemed that Kuwabara's death had left the jaganshi unmoved.

Koenma could feel Kuwabara's frustration as the spirit's gaze darted between the two of them.

/He doesn't know how much I've told Hiei,/ Koenma realized.  It was a thoughtful precaution Kuwabara was taking, but the strain on his patience didn't take very long to show.  Thankfully, neither did Kireina.

/At last!/

Koenma shoved his current workload to one side, selecting one file in particular from a copious pile of folders.  It wasn't a human's file, he informed them, but belonged instead to a youkai, to a koorime.

Hiei moved unseen to clutch at the file, while Kireina's eyes narrowed.

"Your new assignment is to find Koorime Yukina."