I expected the coach to be organised to teach me how to play. For example there should be planned practices with aims, team talks etc.
The coach had to be able to control a bunch of school girls. (One coach couldn't and got endless flack from us like hiding pucks etc.)
The most motivating factor for Virginia and I was playing in schools' Nationals that first year. We soon went on to play club level and then the New Zealand Under 18 team. Other players just as good and dedicated who did not play representative level soon dropped out.
The coaches had to be fair. The good junior players spent all year pressuring the coaches to kick the good senior players out of the school's Nationals' team because they never came to practice. If the coaches had not responded we wouldn't have had much respect for them.
This was still as important as in the first year.
Coaches started telling me what I should aim for. They gave me goals which really helped my motivation.
Jill was so prestigious, important and scary that the reason I managed to complete the School Regional trials was because I knew she was watching. To have that much influence over players would make you in my opinion a really good coach. That's why I think the "friend" coach does not work - you really have to be on a higher level to command.
I also appreciated that my coaches always turned up to games, got in the water, came to school for blackboard sessions on positional play and turned up to all those 8am Sunday morning practices etc. This showed that they were really interested which motivated me at least if not the rest of my team. I also appreciated them making practices really hard and exhausting though maybe I'm a sucker for punishment (I went to every 8am practice) and this may have not motivated other people.
I never needed a coach saying positive things at me the whole time because I was sufficiently motivated as it was. Other players I know need constant reassurance. A coach needs to realise the differences in their players.