The Word of God

Someone sent me this piece some time ago.. Its easy to use the Bible to support pretty well anything you want, with sufficient imagination....

WHO SAYS YANKS DON'T DO IRONY?

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality. Recently, she said
that as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an
abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in
any circumstance. The following is an open letter to
Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet:

Dear Dr. Laura

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however,
regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.

1 When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my
neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

2 I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for her?

3 I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24).
The problem is, how do I tell ? I have tried asking, but most women
take offence.

4 Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but
not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5 I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6 A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7 Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room for
negotiation here?

8 Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9 I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10 My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary
that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to
stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affairlike we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?

(Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan