So that's who I remind me of

A poem by Ogden Nash. Just got this book of Nash's verse (Candy is Dandy - The Best of Ogden Nash). I used to read this stuff in my maths class - under the desk - in high school. Here is one I like:

SO THAT'S WHO I REMIND ME OF

When I consider men of golden talents,
I'm delighted, in my introverted way,
To discover, as I'm drawing up the balance,
How much we have in common, I and they.

Like Burns I have a weakness for the bottle,
Like Shakespeare, little Latin and less Greek;
I bite my fingernails like Aristotle;
Like Thackeray, I have a snobbish streak.

I'm afflicted with the vanity of Byron,
I've inherited the spitefulness of Pope;
Like Petrarch, I'm a sucker for a siren,
Like Milton, I've a tendency to mope.

My spelling is suggestive of a Chaucer;
Like Johnson, well, I do not wish to die
(I also drink my coffee from the saucer);
And if Goldsmith was a parrot, so am I.

Like Villon, I have debits by the carload,
Like Swinburne, I'm afraid I need a nurse;
By my dicing is Christopher out-Marlowed,
And I dream as much as Coleridge, only worse.

In comparison with men of Golden talents,
I am all a man of talent ought to be;
I resemble every genius in his vice, however heinous -
Yet I only write like me.

Ogden Nash

The Word of God

Someone sent me this piece some time ago.. Its easy to use the Bible to support pretty well anything you want, with sufficient imagination....

WHO SAYS YANKS DON'T DO IRONY?

Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality. Recently, she said
that as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an
abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned in
any circumstance. The following is an open letter to
Dr. Laura penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet:

Dear Dr. Laura

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I
have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to
share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone
tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply
remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however,
regarding some of the specific laws and how to follow them.

1 When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it
creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my
neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I
smite them?

2 I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned
in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a
fair price for her?

3 I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is
in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24).
The problem is, how do I tell ? I have tried asking, but most women
take offence.

4 Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both
male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring
nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but
not Canadians.
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5 I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath.
Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.
Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6 A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

7 Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God
if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some room for
negotiation here?

8 Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including
the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden
by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9 I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead
pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10 My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).
He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary
that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to
stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a
private family affairlike we do with people who sleep with their in-laws?

(Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident
you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan

A picture is worth ....

This is a great piece of flash animation here showing again that a picture is worth 1,024 words. At least. Counting spaces.

It features images of President Bush and Prime Minister Tony Blair put to, shall we say, imaginative uses. Very clever.

(the link looked strange after I posted it. If it doesn't work directly, copy and paste this:

http://www.foulds2000.freeserve.co.uk/bushv6.htm )

Macdream

I've just read Jonathon Delacour's amusing post about not buying a Macintosh, and also all the comments this engendered. I've never understood many other people's dislike of the Macintosh (apart from considerations of price).

Contrary to Jonathon' views, I am happy to declare anyway that I think the new swivel, flat-panel screen works wonderfully (much easier to manage and adjust than any other I've seen or used). And I just love the "no-button" mouse, and don't find it particularly cumbersome to use the control key instead of a right-button. (I can always get one if I really want, but they are well, so ugly).

Of course, you should temper my views with the fact that I am a self confessed macintosh bigot, and proud of it.

Two Strange Web Pages

This one is kind of clever, I think:

Moving Windows

Best viewed if you make your browser window a few inches square first.


And this one must be the most useless site ever done:

Zombo.com

Steven Pinker - A Scholar and a Gentleman

I read a review of Steven Pinker's latest book "The Blank Slate". In it he describes the three "myths" about the human mind which he wishes to dispel. At his web site:
the review says:



"In The Blank Slate, Steven Pinker, bestselling author of The Language Instinct
and How the Mind Works, explores the idea of human nature and its moral,
emotional, and political colorings. He shows how many intellectuals have denied
the existence of human nature by embracing three linked dogmas:
The Blank Slate (the mind has no innate traits), The Noble Savage
(people are born good and corrupted by society), and The Ghost in the Machine
(each of us has a soul that makes choices free from biology). Each dogma carries
a moral burden, so their defenders have engaged in the desperate tactics to
discredit the scientists who are now challenging them."



I was curious about Steven Pinker's views regarding Philospher David Chalmers' views on the mind and consciousness, so I wrote and asked whether he felt Chalmers' views were a form of the "Ghost in the Machine" idea.

I was amazed that he actually responded to me, and for that I am grateful that he took the time out to give a real reply to my question (instead of, say, just an automated "we'll get back to you" message.

Thanks Mr Pinker, you are not only a scholar, but a gentleman.

For Behic


Behic Sumer, was a software developer who worked on several projects where I work. He finished off the last assignment we gave him, and then went off for a trip to England for a few weeks. He never returned. On his way back he stopped off to meet two of his brothers in Bali, and happened to be there at the nightclub with his brothers. Eventually, his body was found in Darwin. He was amongst those initial survivors (with his two brothers) transported to Darwin soon after the bomb blast, but he died on the way back. His brothers are alive. One is still critical with his burns. Behic was one of the gentlest and kindest people I knew. Bali was one of his favourite holiday destinations. One of his friends told me that it was his practise to take clothes to distribute to charities in Bali, but this time he never got to distribute them. This has been a very sad few weeks for me and all of us in the office.

I went to his funeral - the first time I have ever been near a Mosque and an Islamic funeral.

You were a good man Behic.

Peace of Iraq

It sounds sort of re-assuring that the UN Resolution 1441 to get on with the weapons inspections in Iraq, has finally been voted on, and it looks as if the USA's attempt at "pre-emptive" war has been thwarted. But since the Secretary of State has stressed that the USA has "reserved the right to act against Iraq if it violated Security Council Resolution 1441", then it doesn't that make it meanlingless? What will be Bush's idea of a violation? Yes I know, he says it has to be a material violation, but how will he interpret that? What happens if the Bush Administration disagrees with the UN Security Council on such a violation? The stupidity isn't over yet.

Foreign Phrases

The Sydney Morning Herald has a daily column called 'Column 8' (no prizes for guessing why), which is a daily collection of amusing little stories or anecdotes. They have recently featured a word game where a well known Latin phrase (or other language for that matter) is changed - but only ONE letter is allowed to be changed or ADDED - to form a new latin saying. Some can be found here:

http://www.smh.com.au/column8/index.html

(not sure how long this will stay , so I hope they don't mind if I repeat some of the phrases here)


Margaret Fairbank, Blayney:
Mea cuppa - Desperate for the morning tea.
Cine qua non - Nothing much on at the pictures.

Rina Hill, Seaforth:
Pad nauseam - A teenager's bedroom.
Beau Peste - A unwanted admirer.
De jury - De people who cry "Here come de judge."

Tony Turner, Tuross Head:
Parsona non grata - Two Mormons at your door.

Nigel O'Dea, Mosman:
Bet al - Backing all the Cup runners to get a win.

David Heath, Ryde:
Camira obscura - Car window tinting.
(In Australia there is a car called the Camira - VI)

Ian Johnson, Brisbane:
Hores de combat- The girls are fighting again.

Peter Maxwell, Berridale:
Persona non graba - Keep your hands off that woman.
Gait accompli - The toddler's first step.