Personals from The London Review of Books

The winning entry this week is:

Although this is an advert that screams excitement, the man who placed it (historian, 54, enjoys air-fix modeling) is strangely subdued."

I think this deserves the bottle of Champagne prize.
But there are quite a few other good ones:

"I intend to keep the precise contents of this personal ad a secret".

"Man sought, with Mozart tendencies, his own wig and his own arch rival, by a gorgeous(ish) F (39, living in NW).

"Where's my Jack Walser equivalent? I'm Red Riding Hood (but older) you're the wolf, only it's on equal terms now, so be brave and I'll sleep peacefully between your paws"