28th February, 2003.
Weekly meeting already. Back to the House of Pain.
Manager and Cow-orker are having communication problems. The Cow-orker is having problems getting information from a supplier, and having even more problems explaining to our manager in English why the suppliers can't tell us what we need to know.
"They won't do that for us, becaue they don't keep that kind of information!"
"Rubbish. They have to. Otherwise what's to stop us from ringing up and telling them that a piece of equipment we bought from them is still under warranty when it's not?"
"They'd know! They keep that kind of information!"
"But you just said they didn't!"
"They don't!"
"So where are they getting the information from?"
"They keep records of what we've bought from them, of course."
"So they do keep that information on file!"
"No! You're not listening to what I'm saying!"
Planet Cow-orker is obviously still suffering problems with its reception. I try to explain that what we want to find out is if they have a complete record of everything we've bought from them (across our entire organisation), and when it comes out of warranty. Almost word for word what our manager had already tried asking, in fact.
This time the Cow-orker answers (our manager almost protests "But that's what I just asked you!", but settles instead for clutching his head in pain and staring at the table) and explains that while the supplier actually does keep the kinds of records we're after, they can't share the information with us even though they're perfectly capable of telling us what we need to know as long as we know what question to ask. Cow-orker breaks down under further interrogation and reveals that she's spoken to the account reps several times and it's not a matter of "can't" but "won't". And no, she hasn't asked why.
The temptation to ask if she's thought of going over their heads is nearly overwhelming...
Still in the meeting: "I had this really great idea I learned from my marketing course!"
I flinch. Our manager flinches. Unfortunately he's too open-minded to dismiss a Cow-orker idea out of hand without hearing it first, and asks her what it was.
"Well," and she launches into a five-minute spiel about one of her classes, the point of which seems to be that people use marketing to sell things. By the end of the five minutes I've been rescued by the arrival of a client, while our manager remains pinned down and unable to escape.
"How does all that relate to us?" he finally manages to ask, just as I return (coincidence, really).
The Cow-orker draws breath and prepares to start again. Our manager realises what's coming and desperately heads her off. "I heard all that. What does everything what you've just told me have to do with us?"
"Well, nothing, really... But we need to market ourselves."
"Yes, we've discussed this a few times at these meetings. And you've had an idea we can use?"
"No, not really."
"So what was the idea you had?"
"I thought that maybe if I thought of something that would help market us, I could tell you about it."
What I want to know is, does this mean that up until now she's chosen to keep to herself any ideas that she thought might actually have been useful?
Once again I am saying many things about which I have no recollection. Either I keep slipping into a trance at in the office and begin channelling someone else, or the Cow-orker's reality filters need replacing again.
I know which one my money's on.