23rd May, 2003.
It's a quiet day on Planet Cow-orker. She seems to be working on low-grade evil and malice today rather than trying to crank out any outstanding achievements. Perhaps she's saving them for tonight, when one of our suppliers has given us (and their other clients) Gold Class tickets to see The Matrix: Reloaded.
And no, just because it's a Friday night does not make it a date.
She's on the phone to a supplier, trying to convince them to give us a better price. In a stunning diplomatic move, she just called them a liar. But it's okay, I guess, because now she's telling him specific details about our dealings with their competitors.
Hmm, now she's ringing the suppliers she just gave away the details on. This could be interesting.
"Hey, you didn't do anything with this order!" She waves paper in my face. "The client was asking about it, and I looked everywhere for the order before I finally found it in the "pending" files. But it's not pending, because you haven't ordered it!"
"But you put it in that file, remember? You took it away from my desk and said you'd look after it." Yeah, yeah. Stupid me.
"But I didn't know I was actually going to have to do something with it!"
Dealing with another supplier. They ring to tell her that she made an error with the pricing on the order she sent to them, and explain to her exactly where and how the error is located. She goes into denial and tells them they provided her with the wrong pricing. Once off the phone, she blames the person here who typed up the order. Finally all the paperwork comes back, she reads it and rings the supplier again. As though it's some kind of revelation to him, she admits that she got the pricing wrong and then outlines exactly where and how she made this mistake. In doing so she repeats word for word the e-mail in which he brought the error to her attention.
And now she's asked someone else to break the news to the client that their costs have suddenly leapt by over 10%.
"Hey, that order that I took away from you and hid so that it never got ordered? What are you going to do with that?"
"Order it." Duh.
"Oh. Well I guess you could do that."
Get away from me, you freak.